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POST:

Successful Moms Are Intentional About Parenting in Partnership

CATEGORY:

Parents

Date:

February 6, 2020

We’re on week fiv of six diving into the core areas successful moms are intentional about: chasing their own dreams, spending time on things that matter, making space for themselves, investing in their mental and physical health, parenting in partnership, and the way they parent their kids.

This week, we’re focusing on the fifth core area: parenting in partnership. Here’s how successful moms do it:

They Ask for Help

Here’s the thing, mama. You just can’t do it alone. Not even if you think you can.

I’m kind of a Lone Ranger by nature…or at least I would be if I could get away with it. Half the time I feel like it’s easier if I just do everything myself and don’t have to rely on anyone else. The thing is, though, doing it all alone and never reaching out for help means two things: 1. all of the pressure is on us for our work projects, home improvement endeavors, finances, kids’ emotional well being,… fill in the blank… to go well and 2. we over-function, leaving us exhausted and resentful. Trust me, I’ve learned the hard way, it’s better to have a team...and to actually rely on that team.

They Build Partnerships

If you haven’t read Jancee Dunn’s How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids and you have a male partner, you need to, Sister. Her book talks all about how to build a team mentality with your partner based on equity and mutual respect. Notice I did not say equality. Equality is overrated when it comes to partner relationships. I said equity because, in the end, that’s what most of us really want and that’s more realistic. Sometimes in my relationship with my husband, I’m doing ninety percent of the work and carrying ninety percent of the responsibility. That’s perfectly okay as long as, on a regular basis, the scales are fully tipped in his direction.

The Build Villages

Successful moms understand they aren’t the only person in their homes or communities who can care for their children well. Hello, grandparents, daycares, nannies, friends, partners!

Easier said than done, right? When we’re used to being the only one in charge, it can be exquisitely painful to do away with our role as the parenting information and expertise gatekeeper. It can also be crazy hard to get out of a martyr mindset, proud of the fact we’re the ones who do the most and carry the heaviest loads.

It’s so worth it, though, Mama. Having a support system is absolutely critical for our own health and for the ultimate health of our kids.

The Sixth Area Successful Moms Focus On: Intentional Parenting

Next week, we’ll be getting into the sixth and final area of focus for highly-successful moms: being extremely intentional about the way we parent. Until then, you can get more information, inspiration, and practical tools to win at parenting without losing yourself on The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast.

You can listen to our most recent episode here:

The Book: Available March 17, 2020

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Successful moms parent in partnership

POST:

Let’s Talk About Sex (After Having a Baby…or Even a Few Kids)

CATEGORY:

Parents

Date:

February 3, 2020

Um…I’m blushing…but it’s for a good cause. This week, we’re staying true to the mission of our new Modern Mommy Doc Podcast: talking about the hard things AND the things that are hardest to talk about so YOU can win at parenting without losing yourself. So, yeah, I’m blushing. ‘Cause this week, we’re talking about sex…and we’re getting real real with couples and sex therapist Taylor Pierce about it.

I get it: sex is a taboo topic. When we don’t talk about how it impacts our motherhood experience, though, we lose out on the opportunity to learn and grow…so we’re going for it! Taylor and I get into the nitty gritty of this sometimes complicated part of our personal and partnership experience. She shares some amazing resources and real, practical tips meant to encourage moms at all stages and to educate us about the factors that hold moms back from experiencing wholeness in this sensitive area of our lives.

New Mom?

If you’re a new or expecting mom, you’ll definitely want to listen to her thoughtful suggestions for honoring your physical connection to yourself and to your partner and her advice on how to love the body you’re in.

Experienced Mom?

Have a few kids who are a little older? Her wisdom is equally important for not so new moms who might be feeling like making time for sex or getting much out of it is more of a struggle than a joy.

The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast

If you missed one of our past guest interviews, you can listen to all the Modern Mommy Doc Podcast episodes here.

Coming March 17, 2020:

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POST:

Successful Moms Are Intentional About Investing in Their Mental and Physical Health

CATEGORY:

Parents

Date:

January 31, 2020

We’re on week four of six as we dive into the core areas successful moms are intentional about: their own dreams, spending time on things that matter, making space for themselves, investing in their mental and physical health, parenting in partnership, and the way they parent their kids.

This week, we’re focusing on the fourth core area:

Investing in Our Mental and Physical Health

Moms who take the long view on parenting understand it’s a marathon, not a sprint. They see that they have to invest in their own physical health from the very beginning of their motherhood journeys. They also know they must invest in their own mental health. Why? Because being a parent is just straight triggering. This morning my three-year-old daughter spent an hour sobbing about her afternoon dentist appointment, throwing herself on the floor and yelling, “This is unfair! You’re a mean mom!”

Yeah, that took patience to get through without completely losing it myself. It took mindfulness. It took perspective… and, I don’t know about you, but those things don’t always come naturally to me. They take persistent practice, sometimes in a therapist’s office, sometimes by taking a walk in the fresh air, and sometimes in a dark room on a bike going nowhere as I listen to Jay Z with 30 other riders. When we take care of our minds and bodies, we are less-easily triggered and can more easily respond versus react to our kids’ behaviors and needs.

They Give Themselves Self-Compassion

They recognize the myriad of social forces making avoiding sleep deprivation and stress in the early years almost impossible. Instead of ignoring them or wishing them away, they face them head on by getting educated, working with others in their village to mitigate them, and taking preventive steps to reduce them whenever possible.

They also know the struggles of early motherhood are not their fault. They are watchful for postpartum anxiety and depression, and for the kind of toxic, chronic stress that can pile up after months and years as a parent. They seek out help or let others find resources for them when they’re too overwhelmed to do it themselves.

They Own Their Motherhood Experience

They learn how to take back their motherhood experience to make it what it was meant to be.

Next Week

Next week, we’ll talk about the fifth area successful moms focus on: parenting in partnership. Until then, make sure you check out our most recent podcast episodes:

1. How to Win at Parenting Without Losing Yourself

2. How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

3. It’s Not the Load, It’s How You Carry It

4. How to Be a Working Mom

5. How to Raise a Kid Who Thrives

Listen to the Podcast

The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast
Successful Moms Invest in Their Mental and Physical Health

POST:

The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast is Live!!!

CATEGORY:

Parents

Date:

January 27, 2020

Mamas, I can hardly believe it. We’re crazy excited to announce that The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast is live as of this morning.

We dropped (count ’em): FIVE episodes of The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast to start things out and we can’t wait for you to listen to them. Subscribe and listen here so you never miss out on all the information, resources, and inspiration we’ll be sharing.


Dr. Whitney walks through the six core areas successful moms focus on and how to get intentional with your parenting at any stage of motherhood.

Author Jancee Dunn knows being a new parent is hard, but that parenting with a partner can be even harder. She tells it like it is and gives real, practical advice for how to make it better.

Jessi Duley is a powerhouse businesswoman but she’s also a mom to three kids…and a human. She shares her story about how to find joy in the journey and will show you how to do the same.

Author Lauren Smith Brody launched a movement with one goal: help women re-enter the workplace after maternity leave with style, sanity, and big success.

Dr. Ken Ginsburghttps://parentandteen.com/ knows the secret to your kids’ success. He’s on a mission to help parents raise the kind of 35-year-olds we all want to know (and have at Thanksgiving).

POST:

Successful Moms are a Little Selfish

CATEGORY:

Parents

Date:

January 19, 2020

We’re on week three of six diving into the core areas successful moms are intentional about: Their Own Dreams,Spending Time on Things That Matter,Making Space for Themselves, Investing in Their Mental and Physical Health, Parenting in Partnership, and The Way They Parent Their Kids.

This week, we’re focusing on the third core area: intentionally making space for ourselves.

Successful moms make space for their own needs. On the surface, that makes them seemingly selfish but they don’t do it out of selfishness. They do it out of necessity.

They know that if they don’t take care of themselves well, they cannot take care of anything or anyone else well. That means they take time to reconnect to the deepest parts of themselves.

How does that play out in real life?

They Throw Off Mommy Guilt

When I interviewed Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby, for our upcoming podcast, she had a lot to say about mommy guilt. By using the word “guilt” all the time when we talk about how we feel bad we’re away from our kids, or that we don’t have enough time to make homemade cookies for the school bake sale, we imply wrongdoing, she told me. In reality, there’s nothing wrong with pursuing a career for a woman or a man or with delegating baking to the experts at the local pastry shop. We’ve got to stop talking about mommy guilt and instead talk with less shame about the things we want to invest our time in or don’t.

They Have Deep Connections with Other People Who Support Them

This includes friends, family, and, sometimes, professionals.

The moms I know who are living their most authentic lives know their limits. They are keenly aware that they need other people – that our lives were not meant to lived as lone cowboys (or cowgirls, as the case may be). They have learned over time to let other people in their village carry the load when it comes to childcare and mental household checklists, but they also get that they’ll wither on the vine if they carry all of the emotional responsibility in their families.

They Give Themselves and Their Families a Lot of Grace

They know that being a mom is messy (literally and figuratively) and that no one does it perfectly. 

If you still think other moms have got it all together, you’re just straight wrong, Mama. We’re all human and motherhood is hard. Sometimes it’s fun and easy, but a lot of times (especially in the early years) it’s hard.

They Give Themselves the Time They Need

I loved interviewing Carla Naumburg, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, because she’s so direct as she talks about this topic. “…if you’re really honestly, absolutely convinced that you can’t move your body more or take a break from your phone for an hour every night, then you may have a lifestyle that is incompatible with not losing your sh*t with your kids,” she says.

Yes! This, this, this.

Next week, we’re going to dig deeper on this last point, because it matters so much.

Can’t wait to see you then. Missed last week’s post on spending time on things that matter? You can read it here.

Coming January 27th, 2020:

The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast

Coming March 17, 2020:

Motherhood tips and advice for modern working moms of babies and toddlers

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