MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

PARENTING + MAMA WELLNESS

PARENTING HACKS FOR NEW MOMS | HAPPY PARENTS HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 19, 2018

PARENTING HACKS FOR NEW MOMS | HAPPY PARENTS HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: PARENTING + MAMA WELLNESS

I see a lot of parents-to-be in my office and they have a lot of questions. They also have a variety of expectations when it comes to having a new baby.


Most of their questions are about sleep and breastfeeding. Often, though, there are a lot of questions about how to preserve some sense of normalcy, about how to keep things as easy and fun as possible. To be honest, I get the most nervous for the parents looking for things to stay the same. I encourage them to, instead, consider this a moment in time that will soon be over but that tends to go best when expectations are in check.


You will have fun again, I tell them, you will have date nights, you will at some point (kind of) get back to who you were before you became mommy or daddy. Right now, though, it’s time to dig in your heels and expect there will be a lot of tough days and nights. There will be moments of complete bliss, to be sure, but being a parent can be, well, annoying at times. You don’t have your freedom, you lose control of your schedule, you get lost in a sea of feeding and pooping and sleeping, then doing it again (if you're looking for a free new mom guide to help you along, click here). 



Setting Realistic Expectations


Is it worth it? Absolutely. Is it hard? You betcha. Turns out it’s better to be mentally prepared for a period of awkward transition than to expect smooth sailing from the get-go. Becoming a parent, just like starting any new and challenging job, usually involves a steep learning curve at the beginning.



Dealing With a Tough Baby


Now, maybe you've already had a new baby and that baby is TOUGH—one with colic or who is just straight up a lot of work (If you have an easy baby, congratulations. Now, stop telling other parents how easy your baby is. They will only go home and cry in private.).


If you have a “hands-on” baby, first remember this: it will get better, believe me. I’ve been there and I know it does. But, while you wait till that magic day, do this as much as possible:


Talk about it. That is the only way to get the support you need. Call your mom or your sister, get to a mommy support group, call Baby Blues Connection, meet up with a friend. Better yet, have the friend come to you.



Expectations vs. Reality


If you are struggling with a baby under the age of four months that you think has colic, talk to your provider. Dealing with a colicky baby all day and all night can cause discord between parents, maternal depression, and anxiety. Your pediatrician can help by doing a thorough history and physical to make sure there isn’t a more serious medical condition and can offer support and resources to help you cope with the stress of a baby that doesn’t give you a break.


Colic is a real, difficult, confusing thing to go through with your baby. The good news: it does end. Your baby will not fuss and cry forever. But while you’re waiting for that magic day to arrive, reach out for help if you need it and take as much care of yourself as possible


Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

START NOW
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
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Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

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ON THE PODCAST


By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
What really matters when it comes to college admissions (for you and for them).
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 17, 2026
Kids going off to college are mean for a reason.