MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

Dr. Whitney

FROM EYE ROLLS TO EMPATHY: LOVING THE TEEN YOU HAVE WITH ANN-LOUISE LOCKHART

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

October 22, 2025

FROM EYE ROLLS TO EMPATHY: LOVING THE TEEN YOU HAVE WITH ANN-LOUISE LOCKHART

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: Dr. Whitney

About the Episode:


In this episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with pediatric psychologist, author, and parent coach Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to talk about how to actually love the teen you have—not the one you imagined, hoped for, or thought you’d get. Together, they unpack how to stay connected to your teen through the chaos, what to do when your kid calls you “bruh,” and how to manage your own emotions when your child’s behavior pushes every button you have.


Dr. Lockhart shares stories from her own life, including her rocky teen years and her now-healed relationship with her mom, to remind parents that rebellion often hides pain—and that curiosity, compassion, and boundaries can coexist. She and Dr. Whitney also explore what individuation really means (and why it’s actually a good thing), how to support neurodivergent teens, and how parents can care for themselves so they can show up grounded, not reactive. She also talks about her new book, Love the Teen You Have.


Key Takeaways:


  • Love the teen in front of you. Don’t parent an imaginary kid. See your child as they are today, not as who you hoped they’d be.


  • Get curious before reacting. When your teen snaps or shuts down, ask “What’s really going on?” instead of taking it personally.


  • You and your teen are both doing your best. Give grace—to them and to yourself.


  • Connection trumps control. Your teen still needs your presence, even when they act like they don’t.



  • Regulation starts with you. A calm parent helps a dysregulated teen feel safe enough to open up.


  • Screen time isn’t all bad—but boundaries matter. Keep tech out of bedrooms and model intentional use.


  • It’s okay to grieve change. Losing your “little kid” is real—but what comes next can be even more meaningful.

About Our Guest:


Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is a psychologist, parent coach, and author of Love the Teen You Have (Releasing October 28, 2025). She’s the founder of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, where she supports families navigating the teen years with evidence-based strategies and deep compassion. A frequent media contributor and speaker, Dr. Lockhart helps parents understand the “why” behind their kids’ behaviors—and gives them the tools to respond with empathy and structure.


Connect with Dr. Lockhart:


Website: drannlouiselockhart.com


Instagram: @dr.annlouise.lockhart

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  • How to talk about health without weight talk
  • What to do when your own inner critic shows up
  • How to interrupt diet culture at home
  • The first step to raising a body-confident kid—even if you didn’t grow up as one

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About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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