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Toxic positivity takes optimism 100 steps further and says that you can accomplish great things simply by believing, leaving no room for doubt. It’s not positive self-talk. We know that being pessimistic all day creates a really tough environment to see your goals accomplished. Toxic positivity flips that on its head and says ALL you have to do is to think positively and you’re all set.
The reason toxic positivity is so damaging is because it doesn’t leave room for when life just isn’t great. And it makes you feel like YOU are the cause…you just weren’t positive enough about it. But doesn’t take into consideration any of the systemic level issues that have been in place for generations, like sexism, racism, and a culture that doesn’t support women getting ahead.
We can’t continue to put things on ourselves as moms that just don’t belong there. Medical diagnosis, financial strain, behavioral issues–none of those can just be wished away with positive thoughts. And none of those are anyone’s fault because they weren’t positive enough.
Where does it stem from? A lot of it comes from the American Dream of “if you can just work hard enough, you can do anything you want to set your mind to.” Then we have the predatory MLM practices that seek after women in mid to upper middle class that tell them they can be a billionaire too if they just talk to every one of their friends. There’s social media coaches that tout the idea of 20k months because you’ve just worked hard. These ideas hammer in the idea that we can manifest anything we want to and it’s not really okay to have a bad day or a situation that doesn’t go our way.
Don’t hide from the imperfect and shitty days. Feel those feelings. But limit yourself to the time you’re allowed to stay in those feelings. And then take the steps to start fresh and move forward (move your body, set up your food and your day for success, etc…)
