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PODCAST EPISODE | #114

WHERE TOXIC POSITIVITY STEMS FROM AND HOW IT’S DAMAGING TO WOMEN

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 1, 2022

WHERE TOXIC POSITIVITY STEMS FROM AND HOW IT’S DAMAGING TO WOMEN

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: PODCAST EPISODE | #114

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Toxic positivity takes optimism 100 steps further and says that you can accomplish great things simply by believing, leaving no room for doubt. It’s not positive self-talk. We know that being pessimistic all day creates a really tough environment to see your goals accomplished. Toxic positivity flips that on its head and says ALL you have to do is to think positively and you’re all set.


The reason toxic positivity is so damaging is because it doesn’t leave room for when life just isn’t great. And it makes you feel like YOU are the cause…you just weren’t positive enough about it. But doesn’t take into consideration any of the systemic level issues that have been in place for generations, like sexism, racism, and a culture that doesn’t support women getting ahead. 

We can’t continue to put things on ourselves as moms that just don’t belong there. Medical diagnosis, financial strain, behavioral issues–none of those can just be wished away with positive thoughts. And none of those are anyone’s fault because they weren’t positive enough.


Where does it stem from? A lot of it comes from the American Dream of “if you can just work hard enough, you can do anything you want to set your mind to.” Then we have the predatory MLM practices that seek after women in mid to upper middle class that tell them they can be a billionaire too if they just talk to every one of their friends. There’s social media coaches that tout the idea of 20k months because you’ve just worked hard. These ideas hammer in the idea that we can manifest anything we want to and it’s not really okay to have a bad day or a situation that doesn’t go our way.



Don’t hide from the imperfect and shitty days. Feel those feelings. But limit yourself to the time you’re allowed to stay in those feelings. And then take the steps to start fresh and move forward (move your body, set up your food and your day for success, etc…)

Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

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By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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