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January 3, 2020
A few weeks ago, I published a blog that sums up the way most moms I know feel about the pressures they face and the overwhelming mandate that is Modern Motherhood. It specifically addressed working mom stressors, but it applies to stay-at-home moms, working moms, and “somewhere-in-between moms” alike.
You can read the whole thing here,but here’s how it ended:
If having it all means missing out on what matters, I’m out. If leaning in means sacrificing joy and contentment, I quit. If working so hard to achieve perfect balance means I never make it to my top priorities, I just can’t abide. I’m tired of performing.
Here’s the deal, Mama. I’m not willing to lose myself, my authentic relationships with my children, my love for my partner, or my sanity for some version of happiness someone else defines …and neither should you. It’s time to learn how to truly win at parenting without losing ourselves.
The comments came rolling in and the most common one was, “Well then how do we do it?” It’s one thing to say “no” to the world’s ridiculous mandates, but it’s quite another thing to say “yes” to something better. Saying “yes” starts with deciding what kind of mothers and people we want to be. It starts by asking ourselves the big questions – questions like, where am I headed? What do I want my life to look like in five to ten years? How about thirty?
What kind of adults do I hope my kids will become – strong, confident contributors who give, heal, and inspire or individuals who look successful on the outside but are stressed out and fragile on the inside? How do I want my relationship to be like with my kids once they’re grown? How about my partner?
When you look to the future, I bet you hope you’ll be living in a way that makes you joyful and fulfilled, but
In truth, when you choose the way you live and the way you parent, instead of just letting it happen haphazardly, there will be way less pressure. In fact, the opposite will be true. You’ll have the freedom you crave.
So, you decide.
Will you parent in a way that makes your kids resilient? Are you going to be joyful and content, able to weather the storms of life yourself? Life is marching on day after day – we can’t stop it – but we can DECIDE to live and parent with intention.
Over the next six weeks, we’re going to walk through each and every one of these. It doesn’t matter if you have a newborn, a toddler, or an elementary-aged kid — the same principles apply.
Every day, you get to choose the kind of mother you’ll be and the kind of life you’ll live. It’s your turn to set your intentions. I’m with you, Mama. I know freedom and joy are just waiting to be uncovered as you learn to win at parenting without losing yourself.
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