In 1986, Janet Jackson had a song called “Control” with this lyric in it:

"I don’t wanna rule the world, just wanna run my life. "

Oh man, I don’t know if a song lyric has ever perfectly described me as much as that one 🤣   

This month we’re talking about the 4 things we’ve identified that lie outside our circle that holds our Centered Vision of our life and today we’re talking about The Swappables. These are tasks that have to get done, but they don’t serve you and don't have to be done BY you. They can either be delegated to someone else or completely automated.

These are things like paying bills, grocery shopping, and yard work.

And I think one of the biggest reasons that we have such a hard time finding systems to deal with The Swappables is because we’re all really Janet Jackson at heart: we don’t want to be in charge of EVERYTHING, but we most definitely want our hand in all the things that affect us. Sure, it sounds dreamy to be able to hand all of the meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep off to your partner. But when he comes home with the wrong kinda crackers that you know your two-year-old isn’t gonna eat, is it gonna turn you all dark and twisty inside?

That’s what I thought.

When we came up with our centered vision and all the points within it, we were deciding on what mattered most to us. Where we wanted to focus our time, energy, and resources. We can actually do that same thing on those things outside the circle. And that allows us to loosen the grip of control on the things that still affect us day to day.

Let’s stick with looking at grocery shopping and meals.

What’s the biggest sticking point with you about this? Is it that you have a hard time coming up with recipes but love to actually get into the kitchen and get your hands dirty? There’s services like Emeals that let you choose from a bazillion plans and then send your weekly list to things like instacart and all you have to do is prep and cook! But if your time at the grocery store is your sanctuary, find one that just gives you the lists! Or if you simply don’t have the time or patience for any of it, check out any of the MAAAANY meal subscription services out there. Here are a few we love:

Thistle

Sunbasket

Daily Harvest

None of these answers are better than the other, but it comes down to where your priority lies for you and your family. Take a look at what time and energy sucks exist in your week and decide WHY it makes you feel the way it does.

There are creative ways to delegate or automate just about every task out there. I have a girlfriend who has a teen in her neighborhood who puts her trash cans on the curb and takes her trash cans in at night for $5/month. She says it’s the best $5 she spends each month and it’s saved COUNTLESS fights in her house because no one is woken up out of a dead sleep at 6am by the sound of the truck coming down the road and has to throw on pants to make it outside on time.

And it’s not just for those seemingly small (but kinda annoying) things either. It can be for really big, mega important things. Things like our finances, working through a stressful relationship or even helping our kids develop their social and emotional skills (I delegated mine to a robot.)

And this is not just for the upper or middle class either. At MMD we’re all about acknowledging that everyone comes from different backgrounds, but we’re all responsible for our own lives. If you can’t afford a meal service, think about how you can get really intentional about the time you spend on this task? I’m all about simplicity. What if you had a 14 meal rotation that you worked your way through every 2 weeks? Or even 5-7 every week? If Mark Zuckerburg wears the same outfit everyday to cut down on decision fatigue, my kids can eat spaghetti every Monday.

When we live a Centered Life fueled by our centered vision, we GET to be just as choosy about where we spend our time and energy in the things that bring us aaaaalll the joy as well as the things that we can’t wait to get through.