I just got back from a four-day trip to "The Happiest Place on Earth" and people, I was not entirely sure before we took off if it was going to be that happy. 

My oldest daughter has an anxiety disorder and gets overwhelmed easily by crowds and chaos. My youngest daughter is three years old (enough said). I can hear you saying right now as you read this, "Um, excuse me...Why did you plan this trip?" Fair enough. Here's the thing about parenting a child who needs special accommodations or has special needs: you understand that there are some activities and experiences that they may never be able to participate in but you long for them to be a part of the world just like all other "typical" kids. I knew that if we could reduce the number of stressors we had on the trip, we could give her the opportunity to experience the magic of being enthralled and delighted. 

Here's what we did to make the trip successful and what you can do, too:

Give Yourself Enough Time

It's so tempting to rush through our vacations but, when we do, we usually end up feeling run down and frustrated. When you have a child who may not be able to roll with the punches on a road trip or push through for a marathon day through an amusement park. For our Disney trip, we planned to be in the park for three days and gave ourselves an extra day at the end of the trip to hang at the hotel pool and enjoy the waterslides. 

We knew my oldest daughter would reach a certain point in the day as we traveled from ride to ride when she would literally melt. And we knew it would happen at the drop of the hat. We might be able to cajole her into sticking around for five minutes longer than she wanted to be there but once the, "Mom!! We have to go!!! Please now!!" set in, it would be all over. We also knew that moment would also make us feel very angry that we'd just thrown down 40,000 frequent flyer miles and $1,000 in park entry fees on this trip if we were on a tight timetable and no one was sticking with it. 

Because we were feeling leisurely, we didn't try to rush out for Magic Morning, and we weren't worried about grabbing Fast Passes. Instead, we woke up when the kids did, enjoyed a hotel breakfast, and even came back to our accommodations mid-day to rest and relax before some or all of us re-entered the park in the evening. We spent TWO (yes TWO) hours in the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique (thankfully, we'd asked for gift cards at Christmas to cover it) on first day in the park and, believe me, it was my girls, not me, who wanted these glamour shots. The second day, my oldest daughter pooped out after about three hours (even with a stroller, which I HIGHLY recommend for any trip to any amusement park with kids under 7) and she and I hoofed it back to the hotel and spent the rest of the day on the waterslides while my husband and three-year-old went on "It's a Small World" over and over. Which brings me to my next point...

Accept It's Not About You

Disneyland is fun for kids and adults but, if you're going with littles (and one or more of those littles has special needs), either bring help or ditch any preconceived notions you'll be zipping through the Matterhorn or noshing luxuriously at the Blue Bayou. We met my in-laws in the park on the second day so we could divide and conquer a bit but, even then, we had to check our adult agendas at the door. Yeah, we did a little bit of ride-switching here or there so we could both enjoy rides our youngest wasn't tall enough for but, in the end, understanding this was a kid-centric vacation made it more enjoyable and less disappointing. 

Use the Services Available to You

About a month ahead of our trip, my sister-in-law sent me a text with information about Disability Access Services. My daughter's anxiety disorder doesn't have any physical manifestations so the idea of accessing any type of special services felt off at first but, holy cow, I don't think we could have managed without them. Using the pass, we were able to get return times for many of the more popular rides, avoiding waiting in long lines in the hot sun with a temperamental three-year-old and a six-year-old who kept asking, "Am I going to die? Are you sure? I think I might" as she waited for her turn on Splash Mountain. Keeping the moments she had to a minimum between when she built up enough courage to say "yes" to a ride and when she actually buckled in meant a higher rate of success. Even with the pass, she ended up changing her mind after about 20 minutes into the wait for Pirates of the Caribbean and meeting the Shadow Man turned out to be a no-go.

Understand That No Good Vacation Goes Unpunished

When you go on a major family trip, injuries and sickness are just a part of it. My little one ended up with a sinus infection the first night and gooey eyes to match by the end of our journey. My eldest had a few scrapes and bruises from the water park. I was glad I'd brought a little first aid pack and, again, had some downtime built in to our travels. 

Likewise, brace yourself a little for some sleep deprivation and some minor illnesses once you come back from your vacation. If you can, plan ahead so you have a recovery day at the end of your adventure to just catch up on laundry and get the house and yourselves back in order. Anticipate you might have to use your down day to tend to things you forgot to take care of while you were away or that came up when you returned.

Looking for more tips for traveling with young kids? Listen to our latest Podcast with Brianne Manz of Stroller in the City here.