MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

CENTERED VISION + HAPPINESS

JOY ISN’T A PRIVILEGE. IT’S A CHOICE.

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

January 3, 2022

JOY ISN’T A PRIVILEGE. IT’S A CHOICE.

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: CENTERED VISION + HAPPINESS

This one is going to be a tough one for some to hear, but it’s so, so important: Joy isn’t just for the privileged. In fact, it’s not a privilege at all.


Joy is a choice. 


I know some of you reading this want to push back. And I want to leave you space for that. But let me explain.


When we view joy and living our life with intention as something that’s only a privilege to the upper class, we’re giving away our power. The power to choose our own feelings and outlook. The power to change our life.


We’re saying, “I can only have a good life if_____.” And more often than not, that blank is filled in with something outside of our control. It’s others-centered. 


I’ll finally be happy when I…

...get a high-paying job.

...get married.

...have a more supportive partner.


In fact, joy in life has so much less to do with others and so much more to do with empowering yourself to CHOOSE it!


Choosing joy isn’t an if/then. It’s a both/and.


I can go through REALLY tough circumstances and still choose joy.

I can fight every day in the trenches, wondering if I’m making any progress, and still choose joy. 



I can have less resources available to me than many others and still choose joy.


I can’t begin to imagine the struggles that you go through on a daily basis. And the same is true for you and my life. But it’s not about who wins the Struggle Olympics, because everyone’s story has value. 


When you choose joy
despite your circumstances, you’re choosing to be your best and biggest adv​​ocate. It doesn't matter your level of inequity, the injustices against you, your race, or your socioeconomic background. Choosing joy is fundamental to making change in our lives, even while we work to address all of the other social and gender inequality and racial injustice issues that we all want so desperately to change.


I want you to know that I’m fully aware that when it comes to living a Centered Life, parents with unlimited or larger sources of expendable funds and time can, of course, more easily throw money at the stress of everything outside the circle. They have resources to buy apps and invest in high-end performance coaches to help them deal with the non-negotiables. They can also more easily outsource to house cleaners and nannies for the swappables. Which, from the outside, can feel like it’s
easier for them to choose joy.


However, EVERY parent can tackle those areas outside their circle in small, approachable ways and
still have that choice for joy. 


That could look like:



  • Making a time and a place within the week or day for repetitive home chores like laundry, dishes, or work emails
  • Learning how to work with your parenting partner to build more equity
  • Building a parenting village
  • Setting an expectation with children in age-appropriate ways that they contribute to household chores
  • Streamlining your home environments by eliminating clutter
  • Developing awareness of gender-biased requests on your time for committee involvement by your employers
  • Being thoughtful about setting boundaries with extended family and friends.


They might look different to everyone, but the choice to choose joy remains.


Likewise, a self-care routine is not just for the rich and famous, and doesn’t have to cost a dime (the same could be argued for choosing joy!) Self-care could look like accessing social work, counseling, or care management services through a county program or a health care system for one mom and could look like reclining the seat in the car and being quiet for 5 minutes before re-entering the home after a long, stressful work day for another. 


It could be as simple as making a commitment to turning off the television and heading to bed so you’re more rested and ready for stressors the following day. It could mean addressing depression, anxiety, or substance abuse with the help of community resources. It could mean practicing positive coping skills in moments of extreme chaos with mindful self-compassion.


Living your life on purpose isn’t available just to the rich because we all HAVE purpose. We can all choose intention because we were all MADE with intention. Seeing joy as a privilege means that it can be taken away. And no person, institution, or system can take away your choice for joy.


Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

START NOW
By Dr. Whitney December 17, 2025
About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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ON THE PODCAST


By Dr. Whitney December 17, 2025
About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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