If there’s one good thing that came out of the pandemic, most parents would probably agree on the extended quality time spent with just those living under our own roof. With stay-at-home (and work-from-home) rules in place, and kiddos signing in virtually to their classes, the amount of family time was practically endless. Especially at first, this was a welcomed respite from the chaotic, carpool-fueled and activity-centric weekdays and weekends that were symptomatic of our pre-pandemic lives.
Not having to go anywhere or
be
anywhere pretty much ever? Kind of a busy parent’s dream. While the task of entertaining an entire family for weeks and weekends on end for an uncertain amount of time was undoubtedly hectic at times, it came with its own set of peaceful perks.
Now, life is starting to resume as normal and the prospects of having an uninterrupted weekend of pure family time seems less and less likely. So how do we find a middle ground? We were forced by the pandemic to establish boundaries—encouraged and even applauded for locking our family up in a house and spending quality time together. How do we protect these boundaries to some degree to help us avoid the feelings of burnout that were once so familiar to us?
This can be especially challenging given the set of circumstances we’ve been dealt with the past year and a half—not being able to see loved ones, including close friends and family, not getting to attend events both big and small, like weddings and happy hours, etc.
While there’s no one single answer or quick fix that will work for every family, there are strategies that we can all put to work for us to help us remember how and when we should say “no;” when it makes sense to underfill our calendars so that we can overfill on what we actually need to maintain balance and peace of mind.
As you slowly reassimilate yourself and your family back into a life that feels somewhat “normal,” per se, here are some of Dr. Whitney’s best tips to make the process more streamlined and manageable:
Maintain perspectivE:
A fully leaned in, frenzied approach to life is only going to lead to you missing out on all the good stuff—the stuff you actually want to do with and without your family—because we’re too busy being, well, busy. It's 2021. It’s about time that you leaned in when and how you want to—and lean out when it’s right. That means, when a friend invites you to barbecue in their backyard after a jam-packed day of taking your kids to and from swim and soccer practice, you say “no” if your bed and that TV show you recorded are calling your name.
Remember what matters most to you:
Societal pressures and institutional bias can make it hard to not be consistently conflicted and spread too thin. But, remember: You can't control everything, but you CAN control committing to a life that's simpler, prioritized, and well-centered. If having Sunday night dinners at home with just your family is what makes you feel happiest and best-set-up for the week ahead, you do you, Mama.
Chat what your boss about WFH:
If you enjoyed the freedom that the pandemic’s work-from-home lifestyle offered you, don’t just fold your arms and accept the fate that you have to go back to the office soon. Yes, this is a possibility, but it’s also a possibility that your boss might be open to some kind of work-from-home plan that allows you to do that once or maybe even three days a week. When talking to your boss, approach with confidence. You're in good company these days if you'd rather not go back to in-person work or are looking for a hybrid option. Just come prepared for the conversation. You'll likely need to help your employer see that the flexibility will be good for you but could also be good (or at least neutral) for your company's bottom line.
Pay attention to your kids’ emotions:
Our kids are resilient, just like we are, but they too have trouble readjusting to new realities. It might take some time for them to get used to your new work and life—and to their new normal, too. Give it time and make space for big emotions. Take time to have vulnerable conversations if your kids seem overwhelmed. And take time for you, too. When our kids have big feelings, we do, too.
Written by Jenn Sinrich
Jenn Sinrich is a freelance editor, writer and content strategist located in Boston, Massachusetts. She received her BA in journalism from Northeastern University and has a decade worth of experience working for a myriad of female-focused publications including SELF, Parents, Women's Health, BRIDES, Martha Stewart Weddings and more. When she's not putting pen to paper (or, really, fingers to keyboard), she's enjoying the most precious moments in life with her husband and daughter.
I know first-hand that working mom life is hard, but I also know it doesn’t have to be impossible.
Trust me. The best way to get unstuck isn’t to work harder. It’s to use a framework that gets real results, no matter what area you need to tackle first.