Mama, I made a promise to always keep things real, so I won’t pretend that this Thanksgiving is going to be the best one of your life. I won’t try to convince you that hosting your own pared-down version of the holiday will be how you want to do things every year. But I will tell you that celebrating Thanksgiving during a pandemic is a lot like modern parenting under normal circumstances: you can survive — or you can thrive.
I’m in favor of thriving.
The Past
I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There are no presents to give, no menu to reimagine (although I have been known to take some pretty eccentric liberties with my pecan pies), and the whole dang day is focused on the one thing we all could use more of: gratitude.
My husband, Scott, and I hardly ever host Thanksgiving under normal circumstances, especially now that we have kids and the holidays have become a special time for us to visit out-of-state family. But this year, one Thanksgiving that I keep remembering is the one when we did play host and hostess.
It happened while I was in medical school in Vermont. Scott and I were newlyweds living in student housing and getting used to frigid fall and winter temperatures. (We were from California after all!) We had no money and no room in our tiny apartment, but when Scott’s sister came to visit us for Thanksgiving, we had all the celebratory spirit in the world.
I still remember the three of us huddled around a folding table in the living room, which we had decked out with fancy linens, our wedding china, crystal, and real silverware. (For the record, I have used that same china and crystal only two other times since then. I’m not sure why anyone ever registers for the stuff.) Who knows what we ate — premade Costco stuffing and a tiny, ready-to-heat turkey breast? A $5.99 pie?
We didn’t eat like royalty that Thanksgiving, but we sure dined that way. And as we reflected on what we were grateful for, we could all agree that that moment was at the top of the list. Everything felt special because we were inclined to think that it was special. It wasn’t what we would’ve planned had we had all the money and time in the world, but we were focused on what we did have — and how lucky we were to have it.
Gratitude is one of the greatest practices we can teach our children.
The Present
Which brings me to my parenting hacks for celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020. We can focus on what we lack (time, money, extended family) or, more importantly, on what we have (this moment, our immediate family). Combine the right mindset with the following tips, and you’ll be ready to make this year one worth remembering.
6 Hacks for Celebrating Thanksgiving (2020-Style)
Get your kids in the kitchen. Whether it’s the night before or the day of, take time to prepare a special dish or two together. Baking is foolproof fun for little ones, and big kids can shoulder real responsibilities for side dishes and sauces.
Put your own spin on the menu. Turkey and stuffing not your thing? This is the year you can make the menu your own! Family-style spaghetti, taco buffets, Mediterranean feasts — get as creative as you want with this year’s dinner. (Or brunch. Or lunch. Or breakfast. Why not?!)
Create a new Thanksgiving tradition you can continue each year. (Even if it’s only to remember how grateful you are 2020 is behind you!) Think easy, family-friendly activities like making a special breakfast (M&M pancakes anyone?), taking a morning walk, or writing old-fashioned letters to family members who aren’t celebrating with you that day.
Coordinate a virtual activity for the kids in your life. Get your kids and their cousins or best friends to do the same art project (handprint turkeys, turkey headbands, Thanksgiving placemats, etc.) and then connect virtually to conduct a big reveal.
Make a Thanksgiving plaque featuring one thing each person in your family is grateful for this year. Do it simple and homemade or fancy with a program like one on Minted.com, and then hang it up on a wall. It will remind you, even when this year and this holiday are long gone, of how resilient you are and how much good you have in your lives.
Plan a virtual get-together with friends and/or family. Get a FaceTime or Zoom call on the calendar for early in the day, at the start of Thanksgiving dinner, or during dessert — any time when you can sit down and share how grateful you are for each other.
Because, at the end of the day, that’s what this holiday is all about: gratitude.
Gratitude is one of the greatest practices we can teach our children. It makes us feel happier and more fulfilled. It grows exponentially with practice. It makes our lives, our families, and the world a better place. And we are all ready for the world to be a better place.
I know first-hand that working mom life is hard, but I also know it doesn’t have to be impossible.
Trust me. The best way to get unstuck isn’t to work harder. It’s to use a framework that gets real results, no matter what area you need to tackle first.