Key Takeaways:

• Parental leave is not just about the amount of time someone is away from the office because their child has arrived. It involves preparing for that time, the actual time away, and then the reintegration back into regular work.
• Clarity around policy is absolutely paramount in order to make sure that both the employee and the employer feel like their needs are being met.
• Parental leave is a two way street: if we’re not supporting the managers, then we’re not supporting the parents. If we’re not supporting the parents, we’re not supporting the managers.

INSIDE THE EPISODE:

Summary:

Dr. Whitney: Can you break down what makes you excited about what you do and what it is that you actually do at the Center for Parental Leave Leadership?

Amy: CPLL is the first and only full-service consultancy to focus exclusively on parental leave in the US. We started 8 years ago in 2014. We’ve had to wear many hats as the country has evolved on the topic and it’s everything from policy to practice to advocacy to coaching and writing our first book, called The Parental Leave Playbook, about an evidence based model to use around parental leave.

Dr. Whitney: It's such an important topic for people to be educated on and have more resources for. Obviously we’ve seen more about this in the news recently. And while that’s great, it’s been an issue for decades that we’ve needed to find solutions for. I’m so happy to talk to an organization that is focused on this and only this.

Amy: It has been decades. When my son was first born, there was no talk of parental leave. There was only unpaid maternity leave that some moms were able to take. And women were fighting for decades for FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) to get passed. And the big compromise with that is that it was basically unpaid job protection. That was the first wrong turn we took.

Sue: I’ve been working with Amy since she founded CPLL and one of the things that got me excited to work with her was that her approach to parental leave was not to show parents what they were doing wrong. She recognized it as a systemic issue that at the time the country was not ready to move forward with any formal legislation. So Amy's idea was that CPLL would go in through companies and show them the advantages to supporting this timeframe in a person’s career and how it benefited EVERYONE. They could offer additional support and coaching to really allow the employee to bring their best back to work and still enjoy their family. 

Dr. Whitney: I fully support that. I have a public health background and when I learned about how a person’s environment affects the way they live, it’s astounding. It really comes down to a systemic issue to give support. The system has to change if we want the people to change within it.

Amy: When I first started this kind of work, I was working on executive development and coaching and then I had my son. I realized we had been overlooking this enormous transition within our personal and professional lives. So I started creating executive coaching focusing on this timeframe. But uur country wasn’t ready yet. I ended up creating that framework, but ended up having to send it to Australia to pilot the program. We spent 3 or 4 years just piloting in Australia before our country was even able to have that conversation. It’s just now that people are able to understand what parental leave coaching is. And it’s so much about changing the mindset and how we talk about it. To Sue’s point, we were doing manager training, HR training, and giving them the resources. And in doing so, we were creating a common language that makes this process (that used to be so taboo to talk about) so much easier to talk about. It normalizes this process. And that’s the foundation we have to start building. 

Dr. Whitney: Take me a little farther into the foundation. I know there are people listening who don’t know what parental leave coaching is. Take us through what you are actually teaching companies to do and the structure you’re showing them so that parents can thrive.

Sue: Getting that common language is very crucial. When we go into a company, we’re giving them a framework, that is the common language, and then the guidance that you use with managers or parents is different. But they’re all talking about the same 10 points. This is how our book is structured too. It’s a three-phase transition. Parental leave is not just about the amount of time someone is away from the office because their child has arrived. The three phrases are: preparation, during your leave, and then reintegration back into work. And we show them how to navigate each of these phases within a flexible framework.

Amy: Companies are coming to us a lot about policy. We can help companies bridge the gaps in their policies that impact their brand, their culture, and their employee experience. And then we can give support from there.

Dr. Whitney: I experienced this on maternity leave. There wasn’t policy written and it got really uncomfortable to have to say no to requests. So it’s really, really important to have clear policy. People are able to feel secure in their need and not on the outside looking for exceptions for themselves.

Sue: That’s really crucial. It levels the playing field. The policy is the nuts and bolts of things written down on paper but then there’s the practice of how it’s actually implemented. That’s another place that can be challenging. Especially when the policy is new. It’s really important to have someone come in and look at what the policy is and how it’s being implemented. So both sides get what they need.

Amy: To your point Whitney, when a policy is done well, that clarity becomes integrity. It's what people can look to. Parental leave is so personal to everyone’s experience, so it’s hard for some people to see that there are parts that are the same for everyone. And parts of it need to be clear for everyone. You can build in a very structured system that allows for individual needs within that beautifully. Then no one is guessing or recreating the wheel when things are already stressful. No one is nervous to ask questions. 

Dr. Whitney: Just last year I had a woman email me privately saying that she was coming back from maternity leave and she was scared to go to the leadership at her company about a new and modified role she wanted to come back to. She was afraid that by asking this very reasonable request, she would get fired. It made me recognize the lack of policy that we had and the need to shore that up. And the fear and trepidation that comes for parents about their job security and their reputation as a committed worker.

Amy: For men, that starts even sooner. Because culturally, for them, they aren’t even allowed to take it in many places. Even if it’s available for them at their job, it’s not usually a part of their culture. This time is just so ripe for miscommunication. So any place you can clarify those things and permissions for both the employees and the managers, we’ve got to take that opportunity. The more clarity on both sides, the better. Systemically, if we’re not supporting the managers, then we’re not supporting the parents. If we’re not supporting the parents, we’re not supporting the managers.

Sue: If there’s anyone getting ready to send a similar email, I recommend picking up our book. It’s like having us as a coach in your hand. As you’re writing that email, structure your request so that you can make the organization stronger. So that it’s clear that you’ve thought about the organizational impact as well as what’s in it for you. Poise the request to show that you’re looking out for the company as well as looking out for yourself. Those are the types of requests that are generally handled graciously and positively. Set it up so everyone can be a winner. So that the yes becomes a no brainer.

Amy: Part of that is telling your employer that you’re willing to be a trailblazer in this and figuring out what works. That’s going to help the company attract and keep talent in the future.

Dr. Whitney: I think that’s so true. It would be nice if companies knew what they were doing and came up with solutions for us. But in the meantime, you’re probably going to have to be the one who comes up with the plan. Even if it’s not the ultimate one decided on. It shows that you care about yourself and the company.

Amy: The book walks through that action planning process with templates and questions you need to ask yourself before making the ask.