Parking lots full of antsy shoppers, desperately searching for any open spot. Lines of people wrapped around the corner of the store hours before the sun comes up. The sounds of middle aged women shouting at each other over the last $10 waffle maker.

Just gets you in the holiday mood, doesn’t it?

I kid. Mostly.

We’re back with our second part of the Working Mom’s Guide to the Holidays and this week we’re chatting about Black Friday. One of the most shopped days of the year, it “officially” kicks off the Christmas shopping season. Even though, I swear, Black Friday somehow gets moved earlier and earlier each year and stores have been having sales in the name of “Black Friday” since the beginning of the month.

I actually like doing some shopping the day after Thanksgiving, but I’ve learned that I cannot let myself give into the hysteria. The entire day is developed around making everyone give into a scarcity mindset and believing that there isn’t enough to go around (well, that might be true this year with the supply chain...but I digress 🤣)

Just like last week when we talked about how to navigate when family comes in for the holidays, the very first thing we need to do before we hit the sales for Black Friday is head back to our Centered Vision. We have to name what matters first. Which might be a weirder concept to do around Black Friday, so let me help you out.

Here’s three things about Black Friday that you need to chillax about:

Finding the Best Deal

I know the rush of what it feels like when you’ve saved big. Especially around Christmas when we’re feeling the pull of a tighter budget. But you have to take a look at what you’re REALLY saving. 

Is driving to 3 stores to save $5 on a robe, $12 on a toy, and $7 on a bike reeeeally saving you much? Practically, you might actually be spending that much on gas by the time you’ve driven to all the places. But also think of the time you’re spending! I’d be aaaaaaaay-okay just clicking “add to cart,” spending a bit more than in the store, and never having to put a bra on. 

However, that’s what matters to ME. If what matters to you is something different, and you LOVE heading around town on the hunt for the best deal, then fill that cup, mama!

Finding the Perfect Gift

As working moms, I think it’s preeeeetty easy for us to fall into the same trap with Christmas year after year. If we’ve experienced any mom-guilt throughout the year due to us working, Christmas seems like a pretty simple way for us to assuage that. We’ve felt bad because we couldn’t be a room mom, couldn’t make every practice or game, missed a play at school...so why not buy all the things to make up for it?

First mama, you need to know that you’re doing an amazing job and that your kids are blessed to have you as their mom. Period. The amount of love and joy that you bring to your kids just by being their mom could never be overshadowed by your “I brought store-bought cookies to the bakesale” shame (that your kids don’t care about AT ALL). So stop trying to make up for it with gifts on Christmas.

I’m not saying that gifts aren’t important or that you should just adopt-a-highway mile in their name. But you can’t buy into the idea that things are going to be the thing that bridges any sort of relational gap. Your kids love YOU. Not what your money buys them.

PLUS, putting on my pediatrician hat (coat?) for a second, kids don’t need MORE stuff. They need more experiences. More time outside. More time around a table.

Toys and technology are GREAT and I love the moments of freedom they allow me when my kids are playing with them. But when it comes to Black Friday, remember that it’s not worth your sanity to try to find the perfect gift. Because A) it doesn’t exist and B) if it did, they wouldn’t play with it in 6 months anyway.

Creating a house perfectly decorated for Christmas 24 hours after another major holiday.

Listen, if you LOVE getting your decorations out and doing it all up on Friday--go for it, sister. You have a gift I don’t. But there’s no need to stress yourself out to make your house look like Pinterest went on a bender and threw up all over your house. Especially not overnight.

Take your time to enjoy the process. Let it be easy. It could take the whole weekend. It could take a week. Or the whole rest of the month.

Or.

Spoiler Alert.

You can not hang up a single

Christmas decoration and still be

an effing good mom.

A great one actually.

You get to decide. You get to set the tone. What’s it going to be?