MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

NEW MAMA + BREASTFEEDING

BREASTFEEDING TIPS | THE ONE THING NEW BREASTFED BABIES REALLY NEED

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

December 23, 2017

BREASTFEEDING TIPS | THE ONE THING NEW BREASTFED BABIES REALLY NEED

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: NEW MAMA + BREASTFEEDING

You’re there in the hospital, a new mom, just trying to get your feet wet with the whole baby feeding thing. Well-wishers, relatives, hospital staff -they all have a ton of breastfeeding tips. And, given the gravity of the situation, the sinking feeling that you are now responsible for another human being and that his or her safety depends solely on you, it’s understandable you would be a little overwhelmed (for help with this huge transition, get our free guide for new moms here).


There, in the sea of recommendations and guidelines, one crucial principle often gets missed. It’s critical to early breastfeeding success. It’s a simple rule that, with incredible fatigue and postpartum recovery issues, can be hard to concentrate on: babies need to eat.


On the surface, that may seem over-simplified. I mean, OF COURSE, babies need to eat. You knew that already. But the specifics of what they need and when they need it can be a bit more complicated:


In the first few days to weeks, babies need to have a feeding attempt at least every three hours. We call it “three hours start to start” in my office - that is, it should be no longer than three hours from the start of one feeding to the start of another. Babies will often want to feed WAY more often than that, which is great and perfectly okay, but at the very least they need that every three-hour cueing.


Why? Breastfeeding is a two-way feedback loop - The first feedback loop is for the mom; the more a baby’s suckling stimulates the breast, the more milk the mom’s body makes. The second feedback loop is for the baby: the more the baby eats, the more food it takes in, the more alert and hydrated the baby, driving hunger and allowing the baby to eventually regulate its own feeding needs.


You may have heard two things that contradict this advice, so let me address them both:


First, people talk all the time about the fact that babies should feed, “on demand” - that they should drive their own hunger and can do so.


That breastfeeding should be natural. That’s totally true…eventually. But, in the beginning, a baby needs help to get their system going. Breastfeeding IS natural, but it’s not usually easy in the beginning for a new baby or a new mom - both have to learn new skills and how to “rev up the system.”


Second, there’s a lot of talk in prenatal classes about how a baby’s stomach is really small at first and they don’t need much milk.


About how they really only need the tiny bits of colostrum in the first few days. That is absolutely true. Babies are often sleepy in the first 24 hours after they are born, mom’s milk hasn’t come in yet, the system is set up so that there’s a little grace period. But here’s the catch - that is the time to prime the pump(s) by nursing frequently so that the milk actually does come in and so that baby is alert enough at day three to four so they can take the milk mom starts making. In some cases, if that doesn’t happen, blood sugar levels can drop, making babies lethargic and harder to feed. Babies can get dehydrated, contributing to jaundice (the yellow color that can develop in a baby’s skin).



Alright, so you’ve got it - you’re planning on feeding often. All set, right? Well….. you’re going to want to do THESE things, too:


Keep your baby active at the breast.


You may need to stimulate your baby (tickling baby’s feet, using a cool washcloth at the forehead, getting baby undressed down to the diaper, rotating her arm gently) to get your baby to feed effectively (otherwise, they may burn energy on sucking without getting much back in return).



Get lactation help.


Of all the advice I offer, this is the most important. Get help from the get-go with latch. Ask your nurse at the hospital to position correctly. Ask for a lactation consultation if you have any concerns at all (this is pretty much every new mom I meet, so don’t feel like you have to have major worries in this area to justify getting extra assistance. Sometimes, you don’t realize the questions or issues you have until an expert helps you out). Like I’ve said before, if you lived in a home with all of your breastfeeding friends and experienced breastfeeder family members, you wouldn’t need all this outside help but, the reality is, you probably don’t.


New parents care the most about one thing: making sure their babies are safe and healthy, but the newborn period can feel a little hectic and confusing sometimes. That’s normal. Even if you follow every single piece of good advice you hear, not all postpartum issues are avoidable. Part of having a baby is problem-solving on the fly. Even so, it pays to concentrate first on getting a good feeding cycle in place and getting help when you need it - so many other infant care issues will fall into place if you do.


Want more?  Read more about being a new mom and the ups and downs of feeding a baby (including not allowing breastfeeding success to define your worth as a mother) here.


Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

START NOW
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
What really matters when it comes to college admissions (for you and for them).
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 17, 2026
Kids going off to college are mean for a reason.
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 10, 2026
Maybe winning back to school isn't what we really want, after all.
By Modern Mommy Doc • August 27, 2026
First-class service has a lot to do with first-class parenting.

Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

LEARN MORE

My Kids' Book on Body Confidence


Trying to break the cycle of body shame and diet culture?


Overwhelmed by all the parenting advice out there?


SIGN UP FOR THE FREE STARTER KIT: UNBOTHERED. IT'S FREE. CLICK HERE



FRESH

ON THE PODCAST


By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
What really matters when it comes to college admissions (for you and for them).
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 17, 2026
Kids going off to college are mean for a reason.