If you’ve spent any time around here at Modern Mommy Doc, you’ve heard me talk a LOT about the hundreds of decisions moms make in a day. All the way from which kid gets the cool blue cup in the morning (which reminds me, for the love of everything holy, buy a second blue cup) to what to make for dinner to decisions about summer camps to hiring and firing decisions at work.

Even though they range from things that seem inconsequential to things that could literally be life and death, decision fatigue is real. And when we’re making so many effing decisions in a day, even making those small choices can seem like a lot.

So how are we supposed to know we’re making the right decisions? How are we supposed to be able to trust ourselves, when we aren’t just making decisions that us, but a lot of other people as well? And especially when there are so.many.voices who want to have opinions thrown into our lives?

Real life story time:

I have been crazy lucky over the last few years for me to work in an amazing pediatrics practice full-time, and then part-time in Portland, OR. I love my partners at work. They’re like family to me. 

But then my work at Modern Mommy Doc shifted and started taking up A LOT of my time and energy—time and energy I REALLY wanted to give to all of you. 

So, I had some tough decisions to make. If I wanted the flexibility I was yearning for, I would have to make some pretty big decisions about how many hours a week I committed to taking care of patients as their primary care physician. 

I tried to work through a lot of different options to see how I could continue in the exact same way I had been, but, in my mind, there simply was no way around it: it was time to move forward and change up my work schedule. I had to reduce my hours dramatically in the primary care space. It was clearly the best thing for me and my family.

Well, “clearly” wasn’t so clear to many other people besides myself. My husband did not think it was a great idea (at first). My mom didn’t think it was a great idea (at first). I had a lot of voices telling me that this was not going to work. That I was only making it a LOT harder on myself.

And I began to doubt myself. Questioning whether or not I was making the right decision. Was I going crazy? I felt in my gut that I knew what was best. But what if I was wrong?

Going through this reminded me why it’s SO important to have your own internal compass and to consistently practice listening to that. You must know yourself, your priorities, and your centered vision so well so that when a decision comes along, you have something steady and constant to point back to.

You have to have your True North that realigns you when you get off course from your centered points. Or that helps you to know that you’ve gotten off course in the first place!

Other people in our lives have baggage just like us. And, if we let it, it can keep us from being the best version of ourselves, just like it does them. Which is why it’s so important to be choosy about what voices you listen to. Whose voice you allow to speak into your decisions.

You need those people in your life that can be objective. And sometimes that’s not who’s closest to you or your situation. Sometimes, it’s just you and your intuition.

For me, it was me, my intuition, and my therapist.

What I learned: It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to choose one thing and decide that you need to try something else.

Because, at the end of the day, it’s your life. And you are the ultimate move maker in it.

And you are the one who’s left living it.

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