MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

No More Hot Mess Moms

IF YOU'RE EATING OREOS IN YOUR CLOSET, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

October 12, 2023

IF YOU'RE EATING OREOS IN YOUR CLOSET, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: No More Hot Mess Moms

The other day, I read something that spoke more clearly to my life than any other piece of writing ever has.


I mean, it was a meme, but it makes me feel better to say “I read something.” It had words on it–that still counts!


It said:


I feel anxious today. So I think to make myself feel better, I’m gonna eat this whole cake. Which makes me feel anxious about my stress eating. Which makes me eat more cake. I am now more cake than I am human.


Usually I love to start these blogs off with something light hearted and funny before we dive in, but the topic of emotional eating and drinking is something that hits home for me. And I think it does for a lot of other moms too.


Let me get something clear first. There’s SO MUCH talk out there about diet and exercise. Like a ridiculous amount. And I am in no way an expert, nor will I tell you what I think you should and shouldn’t eat or how to move your body. That’s not what this is about.


What I’m talking about today is not eating cake at a birthday party to celebrate your daughter. Or even having another piece of cake the next morning for breakfast, laughing with your husband over the sink before you kids get up. 


I’m not talking about having drinks with your girlfriends simply because it’s Tuesday. Or even about getting smashed at a bachelorette party and having an amazing weekend.


I stand in no judgment of any of that at all. Or any of your decisions that you make for your life, actually. You’re an adult and one of the best (and worst) things about that is that we get to make whatever choice we want.


What I want to chat about today is eating and drinking in order to subconsciously fix something. To make ourselves feel a certain way. To try and numb the noise in our brain with another glass of wine or Oreos in your closet after your kids go to bed.


Like I said, I’m not an expert here. So I don’t even really want to give you “3 Steps to stop emotional eating and drinking.” I think that’s a topic for another day.


What I really just want to bring to light is why we do it in the first place–and I actually think that once we get a hold of that piece, it can really help get us down the “3 steps…” road.


Here’s what I believe it boils down to: control.


When there are so many things we see spiraling around us. When there are choices being outside of our hands. When our house feels like a bomb went off all the time and never feels like we can relax. When we are stretched so thin because we’ve said “yes” to all the things that actually drain us.


When we’re putting everyone and everything in front of our own needs.


We feel like we have no control over our lives. No ownership. No say in where our time and energy goes.


But what’s the one thing we feel like we can control? What goes in our bodies. We’re the ones actually lifting that fork or dumping that bag of chips in our faces.


In a world where we feel like all of our choices have been made for us, food feels like curling up on your couch with a blanket and a classic rom/com. It feels comforting.


And it feels like we’re telling
something that we’re the boss.


Here are the times that I feel pulled the most towards emotional eating and drinking:


  • When I’ve worked an insane day at the clinic stretching over 12 hours
  • After I’ve lost it with my kids
  • When I feel undervalued at work and my voice isn’t heard
  • When our finances are out of control and we haven’t really checked in with the budget in awhile
  • When my house is too cluttered and I can’t relax in my own home


And I know I said I wasn’t gonna give you steps to stop heading in this direction, but I want to share the questions I have learned to ask myself in those moments.


What am I feeling right now? What am I hoping to feel? Will this ________ (drink, candy, etc…) help me feel like that?


And then I can check in from there. Maybe I’m feeling happy that something happened and I want to celebrate! And that glass of champagne is a beautiful way to connect with my husband.


But maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed with my house and I’d really like to feel supported by my spouse. And eating takeout after my kids are in bed isn’t gonna get me anywhere near feeling like I’m on a team with my partner.


That’s one of the reasons I wrote my latest book,
Doing It All. Because that’s what we’re taught, right? You can have it all and smile while doing it.


But if we don’t even know what we waaaaant to have, then there’s no way to know when we’ve got it! But if we can break it down to asking ourselves what’s really important, what we’re really after, then we’ll be one step closer to living a life aligned with who we really are.


Want more? Tired of feeling like you have to do it all to be a good mom? Guess what? You don't! Check out my newest book release here.


Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

START NOW
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

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My Kids' Book on Body Confidence


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ON THE PODCAST


By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
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