Last week, I ran into a work acquaintance and we exchanged the usual pleasantries:
Them: Hey, how are you?
Me: Good! Busy, but good!
I’m past the point in my life where I wore busyness as a badge of honor. I used to think if I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t being productive. And if I wasn’t productive, then I clearly wasn’t worth much.
Now, I can see that being busy just means I really don’t have my priorities set. Because being “busy” feels out of control for me. So when “busy, but good” flew out of my mouth, it made me want to take a step back and look at what was making me feel “busy” and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be because I was on the Peloton too much or playing with my kids too many hours or pouring into my patients and those I mentor at the clinic.
Those are all things I love and would honestly be perfectly happy being “busy” with those filling my schedule.
More than likely, my schedule was getting creeped in by The Contaminators. The tasks or commitments that fill your schedule but aren’t really necessary. They eat up your time and your family’s time, keeping you unnecessarily busy.
This could be things like taking on that extra committee at work because you know it prob won’t happen without you. Or volunteering to chaperone your kid’s field trip even though you know it’s going to majorly put you behind schedule at your job. Or taking hand-me-downs from your sister-in-law knowing there’s really good stuff in there but that it will take you a whole Saturday to go through.
Here’s the deal. Last week we looked at
The Swappables, the things that have to get done but not necessarily by you. And we talked about how even with things that are outside your Centered Vision, you still get to decide where your energy goes.
You get to decide what’s important.
That means you get to decide what fills your time. What’s more important to you–spending a whole day going through clothes and finding some great stuff for your kids or saying, “No thanks! We’re set!” and spending an hour at Target when it’s time to fill their closets? What’s your tradeoff…time or money?
Let’s look at chaperoning that field trip. Spend time with your kiddo at their very favorite museum OR keep plugging along on a project coming due soon. Either option is 100000% okay to choose, but the beauty (or the curse!) is that you get to be the one decide what is going to the better option. You’re in control to decide if you’d rather pull some super late nights knowing you’re making a memory with your kid. But you’re also in control (and have every right) to decide that it would be better for everyone if you weren’t a crazy stress ball and spending 1:1 time is a better choice.
But Dr. Whitney, what if it’s not commitments? What if it’s stuff that’s eating up my time?
You can do everything in your power to make your weekdays as smooth as possible and then BAM the weekend hits and all you’re doing is picking up after your kids and trying not to lose your ish when they get something else out to play with. The struggle is reeeeeal.
First, go listen to our
podcast episode with Allie Casazza. She’ll inspire you and give some really practical advice on how to shift that in your home. Because clutter doesn’t just affect you when you can’t find that special stuffed animal at bedtime or when you’re doing the “closet shove” before your in-laws come over (you know the one I’m talking about.)
Clutter affects people physically. It literally raises your cortisol levels and messes.you.up. But it takes WORK to climb out of that hamster wheel.
This is another place where you get to decide. Which “uncomfortable” do you want to avoid? Weekend after weekend of feeling like you can never truly relax because there’s ALWAYS something to pick up or clean? Or busting your butt for a few weeks to really knock out what’s been weighing you down. I know which one I would choose, but you get to decide for you!
The Contaminators fill your time, space, and energy when they really don’t have to. You get the final say as to what that looks like, mama. If, at the end of the day, you did a whole helluva lot, but all you have to show for it is a migraine headache, a house full of crap that doesn’t serve you, and a Best Girl Scout Mom badge, is it really worth it?
