Talk to a handful of C-suite executives, and you’ll begin to see a pattern to their success. There’s hard work, yes. And there’s drive. But there’s also the ability to delegate. Sharing the burden of any major level of responsibility (and what job can rival modern parenting in that category?) is key to finding balance, joy, and even purpose. It’s time, in other words, to delegate like a mom.
STOP TAKING ONE EVERYTHING
FOR THE TEAM
One of the first steps toward living a centered life is identifying all your commitments and deciding which ones you have to keep and which ones can go. This is especially important for working moms who are often juggling two sets of tasks: one at home and one at the office. (You can read more about how to thrive as a working mom in my new book coming out in May!)
Mama, whether you work outside the home or not, I’m willing to bet that you have a lot on your plate that can go to someone else. I’m not talking about hiring an assistant and a nanny. (I wish!) I’m talking about all the stuff around the house that you do unconsciously. Picking up toys? Unloading the dishwasher? Setting the table? Not only are there other people who can do these and similar tasks, but they actually already live with you.
That’s right: it’s your kids. You know how everyone always talks about the importance of being able to be a “team-player” at work? Well, it’s true at home, too. And while it might take some coaxing to get Gary down the hall to turn in his spreadsheet on time, kids are usually pretty excited to help out.
ACTIONS ACCORDING TO AGE
As Amanda Ripley points out in her book, The Smartest Kids in the World, kids are capable of far more intellectually than we give them credit for. The same can be said for what they can do at home.
Think about your children’s current responsibilities. What do you expect of them? What do they expect of themselves? Usually, there’s room for improvement. The chart below, which I include in my Parenting in Partnership program, shows just how much room I’m talking about.
MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK
Like any habit, recruiting littles to help out around the house will take time. But if you add on responsibilities slowly, praising your child each time she does something herself (or praising the effort if she tries), you will gradually reap more rewards than a shorter to-do list. Kids who know how to pick up a messy room, who are generous and kind, who recognize that part of being a family means pitching in — those are the ones who grow up to be adults you want to hang around with.
That said, if you find your kids aren’t jumping up and down at the prospect of unloading the dishwasher (read: tweens and teens!), incentives are a great way to turn chores into rewards. This doesn’t have to be money or food. (Although it can be — no judgement!) It can also be privileges, from picking the movie for family movie night to deciding what’s for dinner.
Finally, Mama, I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: if you have a partner, bring him/her into the loop. Talking about what’s on both of your plates can sometimes make it easier to divide and conquer. See if there are tasks you can trade or automate. (I’m much better at getting the kids ready for school and out the door in the morning, for example, while my husband can take on their bedtime stalling tactics without so much as an eye roll.) Above all, let each other handle your lists as you both see fit. Your co-parent may not have the same style (or even the same timeline) you do, but if the list gets done, who cares?
Modern parenting is all about getting creative!
