- Totum Women focuses on four areas of wholeness in motherhood: mind, body, ambition, and relationship. These 4 areas are revolutionized when you become a mother and, if not addressed, can lead women to feel unsupported and like a shell of their former pre-kid self. They provide resources and support for women as they transition to the new season of being a mom so they can navigate the intersection of ambition and motherhood.
- There’s a mounting pressure from the places like the “Lean In” Movement and even Beyonce lyrics like “strong enough to have the babies and then get back to work” that tell us that we’re not good feminists if we don’t go right back to work after having babies. The general school of thought used to (incorrectly) be that we were bad moms if we wanted to also work. Now it’s shifted to the idea that you’re less of a woman if you didn’t want to lean in or if you wanted to simply enjoy your time with your babies.
- There’s so much written about women getting pushed out of the workforce during the pandemic, but it’s troublesome that we might equate work and productivity with self worth. Where we are going to assume that if we DON’T head right back to work or go in the same capacity, that we are no longer as “good” of a woman. Which then can easily be confused and turned into resentment towards our kids when we have to make an adjustment at work in order to take care of them. Are we really resentful that we have to take a break to take our kids to an appointment or are we simply listening to the “productivity = your worth” mindset? Or are you really irritated that there’s not enough support at work when we have to take that break? Or that you don’t have enough childcare support when you’re doing something at work that you really like and want to follow through on?
- Comparative suffering is when you look at what you’re going through and compare it to the “difficulty” level of what someone else is going through. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you can be upset about what you’re going through when you know others have it a lot “harder,” but there’s no reason to be a player in the Suffering Olympics. Everyone has their own version of hard and it doesn’t make it more or less hard for you just because someone else is going through something difficult. You can walk through this as a thoughtful, conscious person–while still taking into account what others are dealing with and responding with compassion and empathy.
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About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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