Walking inside of Target is always like taking a ride in a time machine. As soon as August hits, we’ve got stuff for Halloween on the shelves. September brings Christmas. Christmas brings Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day brings summer stuff (you know, when it’s still 32 degrees outside.)

And as soon as June 1st rolls around, they’re already lining the shelves with school supplies and all the fall things. It’s kinda disarming as a mom because some of us (ahem, me) are just getting used to our new schedule with our tiny humans in the house. Even though it happens every year, that first few weeks feels like we’re navigating uphill through a mudslide.

And just when we’re like, “Ahh. I think I’ve got this down!” they’re like BAM! Back to school!

And while it might make sense that we’d be rejoicing that we’ll have some more focused time to work or go to the bathroom alone, the back to school season always brings about a sense of dread for me as a working mom. 

I know there’s going to be 1000 forms to fill out with literally the exact same information on each one. There’s afterschool care to navigate. There’s the infamous form for room mom that comes around that makes me feel like I’m never doing enough. 

Plus, finding time to take the girls to get new school clothes, which, even on my best day, brings out the worst in me. Oh, and buying $4,608 in school supplies (love and support our teachers for SURE. But 48 glue sticks per kid? Come on now.)

As we roll into this new season, let me hit you with 3 things that I think can make this transition smoother for you (and me!):

Decide what really matters.

Similarly to when you decide your center points in life, you have to figure out what you want out of this season. What’s most important to you? Do you just want peace in your home without the hassle of running around a million places? Totally fine, but that’s probably going to cost you more (literally). Or are you more focused on your budget and would rather take the time to find the best deals even if it’s more stressful to get out there and get it done? You get to decide.

Similarly, you can look at what stresses you out the most to help point you in the right direction. Which brings me to…

Divide and conquer…with your partner and with automation.

I have a friend that even the idea of Meet the Teacher night throws her into a tailspin because she HATES smalltalk with other moms. So she emails the teacher ahead of time introducing herself and her husband takes her kids. 

Or if the thought of looking at a school supply list a mile long makes you a bit dizzy, I’ve got a hack that will blow your mind. Did you know that at places like Walmart and Target grocery pickup doesn’t just have to be groceries? You can literally have all your school shopping (supplies and clothes!) done online and then pick it up in the parking lot. I’ve done this the last few years and it’s AMAZING.

In order to make the best use of your and your partner’s time, I’d start by making a list of ALL the things that have to be done in order to get everyone ready for school: doctor’s appointments, school clothes, meet the teacher nights, haircuts, school supply shopping, filling out the forms, calling the babysitter to make sure everyone is aware of the new schedule, paying all the fees of the school year. I’m probably missing one or fifty.

Then I’d sit down with your partner and split it up. First decide what things actually have to be done by a human (like maybe driving your kid to their physical at the doctor) and those that you can offload to an automation of sorts (like grocery pick up). Then take turns choosing (remembering that the automated tasks still have to be set up to be automated). If there’s something that neither of you want to do, that becomes the thing that you get to do together.

Who wouldn’t want to have a romantic candlelit dinner while you fill out 75 forms for each of your kids–sidenote: buy yourself one of those customized rubber stamp things with your contact info on it. Huge time saver. 

Be okay that your contribution at school will look different than other moms at school.

I saved this one for last because, honestly, it’s the hardest. As working moms, we know we won’t be on campus as much as other moms. And can’t attend as many field trips. And maybe can’t be there in 5 minutes if our kid is sick.

Those are just facts. 

If we’re not careful, though, we can believe the lie that our level of involvement at our kids’ school is proportional to how good of a mom we are. We can easily believe that if we don’t bring in homemade cupcakes for the bake sale, we obviously are worse at taking care of our kids than the mom who brought in the vegan, organic, gluten free cookies (that she clearly made in her immaculate kitchen alongside her kids that adore her.)

If that’s you, mama, then I say AMEN. Go for it. I’m so excited that you’re wired that way. But for those of us who aren’t, I’m here to remind you that you’re an amazing mom too. You love your kids like no one else can. And that doesn’t change based on whether or not you custom designed characters out of your kids bento boxed lunches.

Transitioning to this next year can really be an exciting time if we let it. We just need to remember that our family looks different than every other family. And so does the family next door and the one across down. Which is kinda cool and beautiful.

Let’s go into this season viewing ourselves with a whole heap of mindful self-compassion. That way, when we see another mom who’s struggling to get their kid out the door or has a stage-five clinger on the first day, you can give an encouraging smile and tell her, “You’re a great mom. We’ve got this!”