About the Episode:
In this empowering episode of The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands, to unpack the challenges of creating equity at home. They explore how societal norms, mental loads, and parenting dynamics shape modern families. Brian shares his personal journey of stepping back from his career to support his wife’s ambitions and how that decision changed their family dynamic. Together, they discuss practical strategies for dividing household responsibilities, fostering equitable partnerships, and reframing traditional gender roles.
About Our Guest:
Brian Page is the founder of Modern Husbands, an organization dedicated to helping couples create equitable homes and manage their finances as a team. A former educator and advisor to President Obama’s Advisory Council for Financial Capability, Brian transitioned to a more flexible role at home to support his wife’s career ambitions. Along the way, he learned invaluable lessons about emotional labor, societal norms, and the benefits of true partnership. Today, he shares his insights through his podcast, newsletter, and practical toolkit for modern couples.
- Website: Modern Husbands
- Toolkit: Equitable Household Management Resources
- Podcast: Modern Husbands Podcast (Top 5% globally)
Key Discussion Points:
- The Mental Load is More Than Tasks—It’s Emotional Labor: Women disproportionately carry the invisible workload of household management, from remembering the shopping list to coordinating doctor’s visits. Sharing this responsibility isn’t just about fairness—it’s about creating a more harmonious family dynamic.
- Equity Starts with Communication: Brian emphasizes the importance of scheduling dedicated conversations to discuss household responsibilities when emotions are low and cognition is high. Start with small steps, such as dividing one or two specific tasks, and build from there.
- Redefining Masculinity in Modern Families: Many men struggle with “dad guilt” or feelings of inadequacy if they’re not the primary financial provider. Addressing these societal pressures and shifting focus to teamwork and shared goals can empower men to take on more at home.
- Men Thrive on Positive Reinforcement: A little appreciation can go a long way. Celebrating small wins, like cleaning the kitchen or tackling the grocery shopping, fosters goodwill and strengthens the partnership.
- Fair Play Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All: Tools like Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play are great starting points, but customization is key. Brian suggests beginning with a few manageable changes and focusing on shared outcomes, like more free time and less stress for both partners.
- It’s Not About Scorekeeping—It’s About Leisure Time: Equity isn’t about splitting everything 50/50. It’s about ensuring both partners have equal leisure time and opportunities to recharge without carrying the mental burden of household tasks.
- The Ripple Effect of Equity: When parents model equitable behavior, they influence future generations. Children raised in equitable homes are more likely to create balanced partnerships in their own lives.
Resources:
Equal Partners by Kate Mangino
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