It’s no secret: the holidays can be stressful. As much as we love the tinsel strung with care, the

bright wrapping paper and time spent with loved ones, it’s not always that simple; especially for

a mom who is responsible for stringing the tinsel with care, buying and wrapping those presents,

and coordinating the festivities. For a mom with (already) too much to do, the added stress of

these obligations can definitely leave you feeling more burnt out than merry by the time the new

year rolls around. We’ve compiled a list of self-care tips to help you beat holiday burnout, enjoy

the festivities, and kick off 2023 with your best foot forward.

Tip #1: Say “No”

Sometimes, prioritizing self-care means saying “no” to things that don’t bring you joy and rest,

so that you have more time to say “yes” to the things that do. Whether it’s a company work

party, a kid’s play-date you aren’t crazy about, or even the super time-intensive dish your mom

wants you to whip up for the festivities—it’s okay to say no. This rejection can not only save you

from burnout, but it can allow you the freedom to make decisions that serve you. In fact, saying

no can even make you more successful, because you are freeing yourself from the obligation to

make other people happy at the expense of your own wellness.

It’s understandable if this feels like an impossible habit, especially as a mom. Often, we avoid

saying no because we are trying to avoid potential conflict or fallout, or because we are

disappointed in hurting someone we care about. As moms, those pressures can feel even more

prominent, especially when saying no to our kids. It might take time and practice to build

confidence in saying no, so it could be helpful to seek backup from friends and family and look

for tips on how to practice mindful decision making. Even though it can be hard work, setting a

resolution to say no in 2023 might help you learn how to say yes to yourself.

Tip #2: Start Next Year’s Wish List

As a mom, the “magic of Christmas” can get lost in the rush; wrapping and buying and traveling

and baking and worrying about work left undone, and repeat. Still, even though we don’t get

visits from Santa anymore, it’s important that we also feel appreciated and loved around the

holidays. Like many moms, it can feel overwhelming when, in the midst of your holiday panic,

someone asks you what you would like for Christmas. It’s easy to avoid using the brainpower by

saying something glip, like socks or a clean house (or even for the kids to not argue over

something silly for one holiday), but this strategy often means that we end up feeling a little

disappointed when it’s time to unwrap those socks. To help prevent this cycle, take some time

now to start building a list of things you actually want, and keep it somewhere convenient so that

you can update it throughout the year.

If you haven’t made a wishlist in a while, you might find it difficult. So often, we are locked into

give-mode and keeping track of all the things that other people want and need from us that it

becomes difficult to recognize things that we ourselves may be in want of. If this is something

you find yourself struggling with, it could be helpful to brainstorm things that you want to be,

achieve, and work towards, rather than things you want. Often, as moms, the things we want

can’t be wrapped and put under the tree. For instance, maybe you’ve been meaning to hit the

gym; in that case, a good gift might include portioning out dedicated times for your partner or

loved ones to manage childcare so that you can do those things without worrying. If you’ve been

wanting to spend more time on your personal grooming, a gift certificate to your favorite salon or

stylist could be a perfect way to say “I love you.”

Tip #3: Ask For Help

Life, like the holidays, can be challenging to navigate. It’s okay if sometimes you can’t do it all

alone; no one really can. It’s important to ask for help when you need it, and to always know that

the people who love you–the same ones who make your Christmases full of joy and noise–will

be there to support you in any way they can. If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or

anxious, it could be a sign that you need to seek help from family and friends, or even an

outside source like online talk therapy. These issues won’t resolve themselves on their own.

When you sit down to make your resolutions for 2023, take time to reflect on the moments of the

last year that have made you smile the widest; those are the moments that you should be

chasing as the new year starts. If you’re like most people, those moments likely don’t happen on

their own. Instead, they are filled with people, places, and things that mean the world to you.

By making your resolutions something you feel free to ask for support on, you are inviting more of

those moments into your life.