Recently TikToks and reels keep showing up in my algorithm about how going to Target is a form of self-care. It’s mostly been tongue in cheek about how it’s their home away from home, where they feel most relaxed, and where they get their wine.

But then I saw this article in The LA Times. The author talks to a few different women and how they use the retailer as their regular form of self-care. And not just in a “messy buns and Target runs” kinda way. In a purposeful, rejuvenating way.

All the women spoke of their different experiences going through Target and what exactly about it made them feel soothed. The ability to grab coffee, to browse things that were beautiful, to know that most anything in the store is accessible price-wise (versus window shopping at a designer store on 5th Avenue), and to mindlessly wander without fear of judgment or other tiny humans (and big ones for that matter) needing something from you.

It made me think. What these women were describing did sound like self-care. They were carving out a sustainable, relaxing, and meaningful routine. They were making time for themselves. And when they left, they said they felt better than when they walked in.

And I’m all for that.

But it made me wonder two questions: 

1) What is the thing for me (and other working mamas) that makes us feel this same way? Does a trip to Target actually make you feel less stressed? Or is it a long walk through your neighborhood with no music, no podcast–just nature? Or is it a really hard workout and a massage? Whatever it is, FIND THAT THING AND DO IT. 

2) Does mindlessly shopping at Target make us focus on joy or happiness? Are we just looking for our next shot of serotonin when we essentially “add to cart” that Magnolia throw blanket (when we have a whole basket of them next to the couch) or that $20 candle that we’ll burn once before we forget about it?

Is Target REALLY lowering our stress or are we just buying things to kinda numb ourselves for a couple hours? I know for me, it totally feels good to toss something beautiful in my cart. But that feeling is nowhere in sight when I take a look at my house and know that it’s over cluttered with stuff I definitely don’t need.

That’s what I really want to remind you (and myself) as we’re in the midst of holiday shopping season. Are we buying the things that we know our kids will love and really use past the first of the year? Or are we sending stuff to our front door via our favorite 2-day shipper just because it’s on sale? Or because we have to have the tree full of gifts to put out that family photo on the ‘gram?

Again, I’m all for beautiful and meaningful gifts that are bought with intentionality. But one woman in the article said that she went into Target “for shower cleaner and a cooler and is leaving with $271.01 in merchandise — and a mellowed mood.” But how long does that last? Until the credit card bill comes?

I can’t emphasize enough that I sit here with zero judgment. If it TRULY gives you lasting joy, you do you mama!

I just want you to know that the holidays (and everyday life, really) can be fulfilling and what you’ve dreamed of without buying your happiness with every swipe.

Love you mama!

xoxo,

Dr. Whitney