Self-care is having a serious moment. It’s becoming trendy, sexy, the “in” thing to do, and is one of the most commonly used hashtags on Instagram. At Modern Mommy Doc, we think self-care is far more than a hashtag, and we hope it has far more than just a moment. Because self-care isn’t something that’s “hot right now,” but rather something that’s essential to the happiness and the sanity of working moms. It is the fuel that we thrive off of, and what allows us to feel even remotely like ourselves amidst a world that requires us to give nearly all of ourselves to everyone around us, namely our children. 

But guess what? Having healthy priorities sometimes means—gasp!—not putting your kids first. As jarring as that concept might sound off the cuff, when you start to recognize the importance of it, it becomes easier to digest. 

As Dr. Whitney shares in The Working Mom Blueprint: “The moms I see who never acknowledge their own needs, or who live in a ‘less than’ mentality, struggle more than they need to. Those moms never get to fully enjoy motherhood or their own personhood.” 

We working moms are already spread so thin. There is so little time in our day-to-day life to even go to the bathroom in peace and quiet, let alone find time to do some of the things we did pre-kids. While we might not be able to slip away for an evening yoga class every Tuesday night, or spend every other Saturday at the spa with our girlfriends, we can weave even small amounts of self-care into our day-to-day that gives us back the energy we’re being depleted of daily. 

You might be familiar with the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” As Dr. Whitney shares in The Working Mom Blueprint, “There are no brownie points for motherhood martyrdom.” Every time you say no to something that would make you feel happy, fulfilled, like you, you’re not the only person missing out. If you’re not your best self, your happiest self, your most fulfilled self, the people around you whose cup you’re meant to fill are also missing out. 

Self-care is critical to the survival of all moms, but especially working moms whose lives are further divided and segmented into buckets of responsibilities.

Make a self-care plan

In The Working Mom Blueprint, Dr. Whitney shares actionable tips for how to take the time you need for yourself on the regular. Making a self-care ritual and routine should be a goal that’s equally important to us as our work goals, our family goals, our exercise goals. Here’s how to use the SMART goals strategy, by George Doran, to establish a self-care plan that works for you. 

Specific: Choose a goal that feels unique to you and your life; one that you know will make you feel healthier, happier and more at peace—for example, “taking a bath once a week.” 

Measurable: Make sure that you can measure your goal after a certain amount of time to determine if it is truly making you feel more nourished. For example, meditating for 5 minutes a day. After two weeks, you can determine whether or not it is enhancing your life. 

Attainable: Your goals should be something that you can achieve—not something you think you might not follow through with, like running a marathon or taking five trips in a year. 

Realistic: Choosing a realistic goal means that you can actually go ahead and follow through with this goal—that it’s not fantasy in any way (i.e. jetting off to Europe for two weeks for a yoga retreat in the summer). How about signing up for a yoga retreat closer to home? 

Time bound: Time matters when it comes to achieving goals, even when it comes to self-care. Your goal should be something that is concrete and has an end point, as Dr. Whitney outlines in The Working Mom Blueprint. Instead of making a blanket statement of “I will exercise every day for 30 minutes,” how about “I will exercise for 30 minutes every day for the next two weeks.” With an end date in mind, you have more will to succeed, and then you can assess your progress.

Looking for a great way to jumpstart your self-care plan? The Mama Reset Self-Care Retreat is an on demand mental getaway with tips and guidance on mental, physical, and nutritional health—and you can easily do it from the comfort of your home! You’ll learn the importance of positive self-talk and how to instill an empathetic mindset starting with yourself and also for your partner and children, plus earn access to our private online community for continued support.