This morning I opened my inbox, and more than a handful of my clients asked: “Back to School is around the corner, I am really feeling worried about my son (or daughter), what should I do?” My answer: “Do what you can do with the information you have now, leave the rest until you know more.”
The whole world is feeling anxious with the unknowns caused by the pandemic; so, when you’re overwhelmed and stressed by it all, know that you are not alone in these feelings! I also think it is an important message to share with your kids too; this whole thing has been just as hard for them as for us. All of a sudden, there were no playgrounds, no seeing friends, no going school, and no playing sports! Their whole world was flipped upside down quickly, which was confusing, especially for the littles.
You can’t control a lot of things, but you can eliminate stress even if it’s just a little by allowing yourself to be ALL UP IN YOUR EMOTIONS for a second, doing some research on the options available to you and your family, and then waiting it out (instead of continuing to mull over and over on the things you can’t control). This is uncharted territory for everyone. You have to give yourself A LOT of grace in parenting through a pandemic. There is no handbook for this one!
Back to school is going to look very different from years past and there are still a lot of unknowns. Moms, kids, and families are anxious. Many schools have announced being 100% virtual again or on half time schedules until spring. In our community, no one is going back to in-person school until at least November (huge mixed-feeling sigh from me). Teachers are also entering new times with a virtual classroom, so they’ll have a learning curve, too. Students have to learn in different ways. Some kids will thrive with the virtual classroom, some (like mine) not so much.
So how do you keep perspective in these unique and challenging times? How do we mentally prepare to go into the new school year?
Come up with potential scenarios and create a plan in your head, so that when you have more info from the school, you can execute more efficiently. Ask yourself, what will you do if your school decides to do 100% virtual learning again (like they’ve done in my community in Oregon)? Will your child be able to hang in with a virtual plan alone or do they need more support? Are there other opportunities in your community for learning, even if they’re less traditional?
Remember, you can’t execute efficiently in the dark. Be patient and wait for more info from the school. Depending on the progression of COVID where you live, your kid’s schools will have different policies and approaches.
Above all else, stay true to how you’re feeling. You know the phrase, “You can’t get over a feeling unless you go through it? This is THE moment where, yes, being positive when possible about how the school year will look is important AND it’s equally important to allow yourself to feel all the feels.
But how? Talk to yourself like your closest friend would. Imagine what your best friend would say to you if you feel anxious and disappointed. A good friend would never say, “Don’t worry about the school year. Who cares if your kids get an education or not. It’ll be fine.” They’re going to acknowledge your feelings, remind you it’s normal you feel the way you do, and help you remember you’re not alone. When we learn to talk to ourselves this way, it’s life-changing.
This is a powerful practice called Mindful Self-Compassion, developed by Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer. Their work highlights how essential it is to address our emotions and to remember to be kind to ourselves.
How do you keep a healthy perspective in these unique and challenging times? What are some strategies you can employ to help you balance the ups and downs without becoming completely overwhelmed?
