MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

MENTAL CLUTTER + BURNOUT

HOW MENTAL CLUTTER IS KEEPING YOU STRESSED AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

October 3, 2022

HOW MENTAL CLUTTER IS KEEPING YOU STRESSED AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: MENTAL CLUTTER + BURNOUT

Have you ever watched that show Hoarders? I don’t even know if it’s on any more, but whenever I’ve watched an episode, it’s one of those “car wreck” situations that I just can’t look away from. People who don’t just have clutter, but whose lives have been ruined by it.


Obviously they pick the worst of the worst–that’s what makes good TV. But there’s a difference between someone’s grandma’s house that has too many glass chachkies and someone who has saved every (dirty) take out box from the last 20 years, right?


And that’s kinda where our mind goes when we think about clutter. To the counters full of papers and dishes. Or the closets stuffed with old clothes. Or the playroom overflowing with toys. And if you’ve been around here for a hot second, you know I’m a huge believer in decluttering your stuff simply as a way to reduce stress in your household (check out my
podcast ep with Allie Casazza to hear some really practical insight on this.)


Less stuff = less choices

Less choices = less overwhelm



But what happens when your clutter isn’t the stuff you see?

It’s not what’s jumbled on your counters, but what’s jumbled in your mind. As much as having a cluttered home can really be a huge source of stress and spiking cortisol levels for moms (seriously, it’s science), I think we don’t talk as much as we need to about mental clutter. 


Mental clutter is when you’ve got too many things, thoughts, or ideas going on in your brain at one time and it causes you to lose focus and clarity, making it really hard to process events and emotions. Can’t remember that person’s name that you’ve met 12 times in the last two months? Have a hard time actually finishing a single task or project without getting pulled (by your own brain) into something else?


That’s mental clutter. 


And it makes being a working mom infinitely harder because it throws a wrench in our productivity, efficiency, and even our mental, emotional, and physical health.


Here are four easy ways you can reduce mental clutter:


Brain Dump:

You know I love a good brain dump! When you’re feeling that overwhelm start to slip in because you have too many things to remember or get done, get it all down on paper. There’s something magical (and scientific!) that happens when you can actually see all the things you’re thinking or worrying about. 


If you just leave it in your mind, it leaves room to be forgotten or for it to live in the land of overwhelm. When you get it written down, it becomes concrete. You can assign it a time that you know it’s going to get done and your brain automatically feels that burden lifted–even without you having actually accomplished it yet!


Turn off your notifications:

This is one of the most freeing things you can do. When you have so much input coming at you all day long from that tiny screen, it only makes sense that finishing projects is difficult. BingBingBingBing. No one can concentrate when that’s going on. PLUS, it’s training your brain to want that dopamine hit that you get when you see your screen light up (again, totally science!)


You’ve gotta break that habit and teach your brain that it can focus for longer stretches without getting distracted. Turn off the notifications from all the apps that you don’t absolutely need. On the iphone, you even can set different levels of focus and choose which apps you want to hear from. For example, on my “work focus,” I have it set that I only get texts and calls from my husband and calls from girls’ school. 


And that’s it. No other apps, nothing. BEST THING EVER.


Journal/Meditate:

These two go hand in hand. It really doesn’t matter which you choose, you just need to give your brain silent space to do nothing. Not scroll your phone, not read a book, not watch a show. Silent space to do nothing. And if you want to keep a notebook next to you in case anything comes up that you need to journal through, go for it!


Create a solid morning/evening routine:

I do have an episode about why I don’t think everyone should have a morning routine in the traditional sense, but hear me out. There is something to be said for having a routine that opens and closes your day. That allows you to incorporate things like mediation, brain dumps for the next day, etc. So it doesn’t have to be something that starts your day off at 5am every morning (no thanks), but when you give you mind space to get prepped for the day ahead, you’ll have so much more freedom once you start getting into work.


Because then you’ll know what’s really important for that day and what you can let slide.


Need help really nailing down what those center points are in your life? The things that anchor you when everything feels wonky? Check out our 14 guided lessons in the
Modern Mamas club app that take you from Conflicted to Centered.

Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

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About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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ON THE PODCAST


By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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