To say that we are living in a high stress season is an understatement, I know. But it’s in these crazy times – these global, national, and personal WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON moments – that we have to establish routines that help take care of our mind and body. It’s tempting when we feel a complete loss of control to think what we all need to be doing right now is MORE. But more isn’t always helpful. Can I challenge you for a quick sec? Maybe what you really need is less. Maybe what you really need to be doing at this time is investing in your mental and physical health. Mama, don’t get caught up in the tasks and demands that are being thrown at you left, right and center. Instead, slow down and intentionally practice self care.
We need to purposefully prioritize self care.
It’s so easy to say, “oh, it doesn’t matter.” I told myself this recently when, one morning, I almost cancelled my couples counselling sessions. We hadn’t been able to find child care and had a lot going on. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I figured that those sessions could just fall by the wayside. But something inside me told me not to move forward with the cancellation—the realization that if my husband and I don’t make an effort to put ourselves first and prioritize the things that are important to us (like our marriage), then eventually other parts of our life (like how we parent) will suffer. The things we do to invest in and take care of ourselves DO matter.
Unplug. Recharge. Show yourself compassion and grace.
Your physical and mental health are connected, and when you have a healthy body and mind, you’re less likely to look for those quick fix solutions that don’t last and just end up coming back to bite you. Instead, you’ll be able to make better and wiser decisions. This is so important for moving towards being the best version of yourself, which can ultimately help lead to you parenting a healthier and happier child.
So how do you invest in things that will aid your mental and physical health as a busy mama? How do you say YES to self care practices that you need to undertake for the betterment of your own mind and body and NO to the things that truly don’t matter?
Schedule in your self care.
It’s obvious that I would put my couples counselling sessions into my calendar, but not all self care mechanisms naturally come with scheduled time slots. For example, I journal in the mornings and engage in regular self-therapy, where I check in with myself and evaluate where I need guidance and accountability. I also exercise three times a week. While it may seem silly, I add all of these things to my calendar and treat them like appointments. Scheduling in space for me to recharge and just be me has been crucial to effectively investing in my own health. Give yourself opportunities to experience and remember what stillness and quiet feel like—sort of like daily or weekly mini-vacations!
Make a priorities list.
Write down a list of your priorities (read more on how to do so here!). I keep mine in my journal, and right now my list looks like this:
Mental/emotional health, Physical health, Kids and partner, Community, Work and my pursuits
Making this list, and keeping it in a place where you can regularly remind yourself of the items on it, can help you figure out what to say yes to and what to say no to. Invest your time in doing things that align with your list, and take note of what is at the top (mental and physical health should definitely be up there!).
Set up systems.
After having kids, I had to hire a nanny if I wanted to keep up with my sometimes haphazard work schedule and odd hours. I decided quickly to pay her $15 extra a week to fold and put away laundry for me. I can do the rest, but the folding part was taking me a whole week to get done, plus I’d get discouraged or down on myself whenever I looked at the socks and undies continually piling up. This small financial investment has given me so much mental breathing room and physical space—I’m not constantly staring at piles of unfolded laundry and feeling overwhelmed! It’s more than okay to ask for help by outsourcing or delegating—yes, this is a form of self care! It can also free up time for you to take care of yourself. Can you hire someone to help with small tasks around the house? Can your friends or parents help with looking after your kids once a week? As you set up these systems, do an audit and take inventory of the systems and appointments that you find yourself saying yes and no to. Make a list of the things you want to do and a list of the things you don’t want to do. What are some changes that could help make those things possible? Who can you bring in to help?
Remember, practice makes perfect—this applies to self care too! Just don’t put this on the back burner—what you do will impact who you become.
What are some self care habits that you want to incorporate into your life in order to take care of your mental and physical health? Think about things you can specifically invest in during the COVID-19 era now that you possibly have some time back that otherwise would have gone towards commuting and school or activity pickups and drop offs.
