Do you ever feel like you’re suffocating under an avalanche of tasks—laundry, emails, grocery shopping, meal prep, work deadlines, kids’ extracurriculars, and don’t forget that birthday party you said you’d organize? The never-ending to-do list can leave you breathless, constantly trying to catch up, yet always feeling like you’re behind.
I’ve been there. I remember when I thought that if I could just power through one more thing, one more day, I’d finally get ahead. Spoiler alert: that day never came. What did happen was burnout, exhaustion, and the realization that the endless tasks I was drowning in weren’t necessarily the things that mattered most.
This isn’t just another pep talk about time management or how to get more done in less time. Instead, we’re going to talk about how to take a hard look at your tasks, categorize them in a way that frees up your time and energy, and most importantly, how to put yourself and your values back at the center of your life.
The Myth of “Getting It All Done”
Here’s the first thing you need to accept: You will never get it all done. That idea that one day, everything will be crossed off your to-do list, your house will be perfectly clean, and your inbox will be zeroed out? It’s a lie.
Life doesn’t work like that. New tasks will always pop up. The laundry will never really be finished, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to “do it all.” The goal is to focus on the right things.
The trick is to stop chasing the fantasy of a completely finished to-do list and start figuring out which tasks actually matter. Which ones are essential, and which ones are just busy work? Which ones align with your values, and which ones are simply weighing you down?
The Non-Negotiables vs. The Swappables
To help you regain control over your life and free up some mental space, I want to introduce you to two categories: Non-Negotiables and Swappables.
Non-Negotiables are the things in your life that you absolutely have to do. These tasks are essential for your family’s well-being and your own mental health. They could be things like feeding your kids, showing up for work, or making time for rest and self-care. They aren’t necessarily the tasks you love, but they’re the ones you cannot afford to neglect.
Swappables, on the other hand, are tasks that can be outsourced, shared, or delayed. These are the things that don’t require you to be the one doing them. Someone else can take over, or maybe you don’t need to do them at all. The trick here is to let go of control and perfectionism. You don’t need to be the one who makes every meal or folds every towel.
Start by listing out all your current responsibilities and categorize them as Non-Negotiables or Swappables. You’ll probably be surprised at how many tasks you’ve been treating as essential that are actually Swappables.
For example, does the laundry need to be folded a certain way? Could you swap that chore with your partner or delegate it to your kids? Could you hire help for cleaning once a month to reduce your mental load?
Letting Go of Perfectionism
One of the biggest challenges in freeing up your time and energy is letting go of the idea that everything needs to be perfect. Maybe you’re like me and have this deeply ingrained belief that if it’s not done a certain way, it’s not done right.
Guess what? That’s not true.
Perfectionism is sneaky. It tells you that you’re only doing enough when everything is done perfectly. But the pursuit of perfection is not only exhausting, it’s completely unnecessary. Done is better than perfect. And sometimes, good enough is truly good enough.
Here’s the thing: No one else cares about the things you obsess over. Your kids don’t care if their socks are folded or just tossed into the drawer. Your partner won’t notice if the pillows on the couch aren’t fluffed just so. And no one is going to remember that birthday party favor you spent hours creating by hand.
What they will remember is whether you were present, whether you were happy, and whether you had the energy to show up for the moments that really matter.
Creating Space for What Matters
Once you start letting go of the Swappables and the perfectionism, you’ll notice something amazing: you’ll have more time and energy for the things that actually bring you joy.
Instead of spending your Saturday morning cleaning the house, you could spend it having breakfast with your family. Instead of staying up late to finish work emails, you could take a bath and read a book. When you make space for the things that fill you up, life feels a lot less overwhelming and a lot more joyful.
Here’s a small exercise: write down three things you could let go of this week—three Swappables you could delegate, delay, or simply stop doing. Then, write down three things you wish you had more time for. Now, commit to making those swaps. Let go of what’s weighing you down and prioritize what lifts you up.
Stop Trying to Do More, and Start Doing What Matters
We live in a culture that values productivity above all else. But doing more isn’t the goal. Doing more doesn’t make you a better mom, a better partner, or a better person. What does? Doing what matters.
Ask yourself this: If I had one hour of free time today, what would I want to spend it on? What would bring me the most joy, the most peace, the most satisfaction? That’s where your focus should go.
Imagine this: a day where you wake up and feel clear about your priorities. You spend your time on things that align with your values. You leave behind the endless, draining tasks that don’t matter, and you create space for the things that do. It’s not a pipe dream—it’s completely possible if you start getting intentional about what you say yes to.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Time
One of the hardest things to do, especially for those of us who are used to being the go-to person for everything, is to set boundaries around our time. We’re so used to saying yes, to taking on more and more, that we forget we have a choice. We forget that no is an option.
Setting boundaries means protecting your time and energy. It means saying no to the things that don’t align with your values, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
When you start setting boundaries, something amazing happens: you get your life back. You reclaim your time, your energy, and your joy. And that’s when you can start focusing on what truly matters to you.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Do It All
At the end of the day, you don’t need to do it all. You don’t need to be everything to everyone. You don’t need to finish every task on your to-do list. What you need is to do what matters most, to you and to the people you love.
By letting go of the Swappables, releasing perfectionism, and setting boundaries, you’ll find that you have more space for the things that bring you joy. And isn’t that what life is really about?
It’s time to stop drowning in the endless to-dos and start living a life that feels full—not of tasks, but of moments that matter.
