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WORKING MAMA

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’VE GOTTA WORK LIKE I’M NOT A PARENT AND PARENT LIKE I DON’T WORK

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

October 4, 2021

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’VE GOTTA WORK LIKE I’M NOT A PARENT AND PARENT LIKE I DON’T WORK

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: WORKING MAMA

Have you ever had to take a work phone call when you were at home? They always come at the WORST time. Kids playing (loudly) in the background. Dinner’s boiling over on the stove. Someone’s knocking at the door. And someone’s crying. Someone’s always crying.


But you take a deep breath, tap that button, and answer, “This is Dr. Whitney” as if nothing else is going on. All while waving your arms and snapping your fingers to get your kids’ attention and giving your best “
everybody be quiet or mommy is going to lose her ish when she gets off the phone!” look to your family.


Because how dare your kids play in their own home, right? 


Whyyyyy do we do this to ourselves? And our kids?



THERE’S THIS WEIRD PRESSURE THAT FEELS LIKE YOU CAN’T LET ANYONE IN YOUR WORK BUBBLE KNOW THAT THERE’S EVEN THIS OTHER SIDE TO YOU THAT EXISTS. THEN THEY MIGHT KNOW THAT YOU’RE (GASP) A HUMAN WHO CAN’T TAKE ON EVERYTHING THAT’S ASKED OF HER ALL THE FREAKING TIME WITHOUT A BOUNDARY IN SIGHT.

Same thing on the flip side, right? At home, we take on room mom duties, team mom duties, and set up the most elaborate bedtime routines that must be done every night or else no one sleeps--as if we don’t have any other commitments 40+ hours a week. 


When we work and parent like this, everyone loses. We aren’t giving our best to our kids. And we aren’t giving our best to our jobs. 


When we believe that we have to work like we aren’t a parent and parent like we don’t work, we’re living a life that is haphazard and draining. For everyone. 


The idea that we have to live these two compartmentalized lives is a lie that a lot of working moms are believing today (and is actually encouraged by a ton of employers, which only makes it worse.)


The truth is, you CAN have a life that’s prioritized, aligned, and centered. It IS possible.


But first, you have to develop a framework and this North Star to always point back to. What’s guiding your decisions about work? What are your priorities for your home?


Knowing and naming these allows you to show up as your full self at work AND at home. It also guides you to know when and where it's right for YOU to place more time, energy, and focus toward all the competing areas of your life. So the choice is yours to make, rather than having it made for you.


This is the whole idea behind the Modern Mamas Club. We are a safe, supportive space for like-minded Modern Mamas who dream of having it all, to actually succeed in that dream and lift up other Mamas to do the same. It IS possible to thrive, not just survive in your work life, parent life and YOU life, but you’ve gotta take action.


Come join us over in the Modern Mamas Club (all the cool kids are doing it.) We’ve got an AMAZING community of mamas to support you, a huge video library, live events, monthly challenges, journaling downloads, and about a thousand other things. If you’re ready to live that centered life, come hang with us. Plus, right now, you can even get your first month free!


Check out the Modern Mamas Club!

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By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
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ON THE PODCAST


By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.