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WORKING MAMA

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’VE GOTTA WORK LIKE I’M NOT A PARENT AND PARENT LIKE I DON’T WORK

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

October 4, 2021

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’VE GOTTA WORK LIKE I’M NOT A PARENT AND PARENT LIKE I DON’T WORK

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: WORKING MAMA

Have you ever had to take a work phone call when you were at home? They always come at the WORST time. Kids playing (loudly) in the background. Dinner’s boiling over on the stove. Someone’s knocking at the door. And someone’s crying. Someone’s always crying.


But you take a deep breath, tap that button, and answer, “This is Dr. Whitney” as if nothing else is going on. All while waving your arms and snapping your fingers to get your kids’ attention and giving your best “
everybody be quiet or mommy is going to lose her ish when she gets off the phone!” look to your family.


Because how dare your kids play in their own home, right? 


Whyyyyy do we do this to ourselves? And our kids?



THERE’S THIS WEIRD PRESSURE THAT FEELS LIKE YOU CAN’T LET ANYONE IN YOUR WORK BUBBLE KNOW THAT THERE’S EVEN THIS OTHER SIDE TO YOU THAT EXISTS. THEN THEY MIGHT KNOW THAT YOU’RE (GASP) A HUMAN WHO CAN’T TAKE ON EVERYTHING THAT’S ASKED OF HER ALL THE FREAKING TIME WITHOUT A BOUNDARY IN SIGHT.

Same thing on the flip side, right? At home, we take on room mom duties, team mom duties, and set up the most elaborate bedtime routines that must be done every night or else no one sleeps--as if we don’t have any other commitments 40+ hours a week. 


When we work and parent like this, everyone loses. We aren’t giving our best to our kids. And we aren’t giving our best to our jobs. 


When we believe that we have to work like we aren’t a parent and parent like we don’t work, we’re living a life that is haphazard and draining. For everyone. 


The idea that we have to live these two compartmentalized lives is a lie that a lot of working moms are believing today (and is actually encouraged by a ton of employers, which only makes it worse.)


The truth is, you CAN have a life that’s prioritized, aligned, and centered. It IS possible.


But first, you have to develop a framework and this North Star to always point back to. What’s guiding your decisions about work? What are your priorities for your home?


Knowing and naming these allows you to show up as your full self at work AND at home. It also guides you to know when and where it's right for YOU to place more time, energy, and focus toward all the competing areas of your life. So the choice is yours to make, rather than having it made for you.


This is the whole idea behind the Modern Mamas Club. We are a safe, supportive space for like-minded Modern Mamas who dream of having it all, to actually succeed in that dream and lift up other Mamas to do the same. It IS possible to thrive, not just survive in your work life, parent life and YOU life, but you’ve gotta take action.


Come join us over in the Modern Mamas Club (all the cool kids are doing it.) We’ve got an AMAZING community of mamas to support you, a huge video library, live events, monthly challenges, journaling downloads, and about a thousand other things. If you’re ready to live that centered life, come hang with us. Plus, right now, you can even get your first month free!


Check out the Modern Mamas Club!

Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

START NOW
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
What really matters when it comes to college admissions (for you and for them).
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 17, 2026
Kids going off to college are mean for a reason.
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 10, 2026
Maybe winning back to school isn't what we really want, after all.
By Modern Mommy Doc • August 27, 2026
First-class service has a lot to do with first-class parenting.

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ON THE PODCAST


By Modern Mommy Doc • October 9, 2026
About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
By Modern Mommy Doc • October 5, 2026
What really matters when it comes to college admissions (for you and for them).
By Modern Mommy Doc • September 17, 2026
Kids going off to college are mean for a reason.