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WORKING MOMS + MODERN MAMAS

LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’M A DISORGANIZED HOT MESS

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 27, 2021

LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’M A DISORGANIZED HOT MESS

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: WORKING MOMS + MODERN MAMAS

I I was having a GOOD Saturday. I woke up early and got in a walk before my girls were awake. I had already been to the Farmer’s Market for some delicious produce. And I had cleaned my house from top to bottom. I was just about to sit down and have a minute to myself when I saw it.


While I had been working my booty off to get the house nice and clean and cozy, the girls had made a mess in the playroom. Let me rephrase. They had
destroyed it.


Every toy was pulled out, every art supply was open. Were my girls just living their best lives using all their imagination in the middle of it? Nope. Nowhere to be seen. In fact, I could hear them arguing in the next room about whose turn it was to play on the beloved iPad.


DEEP sigh.


I was defeated.


I could see 60 patients in a day, calm anxious mothers who are worried about their babies, and run a successful business but I could not keep my house clean. What the hell?


I felt so disorganized. I was always cleaning, planning, DOING. And nothing was actually accomplished.


And then I remember something I heard
Allie Casazza say: You don’t have a storage problem. You have a stuff problem.


Getting organized wasn’t going to help until we got rid of some stuff. And not just physical clutter. Time clutter. Mental clutter. It can take over before you even know there’s a problem.


I reminded myself I’m a smart, capable woman with a LOT going on. I just needed tools and systems to help me make life easier. I needed a plan for how to spend my time and energy. AAAAnd I needed less stuff.


Living your centered life requires you to take stock of what you want and need. Both to do and to physically have around you in your space. One of those things that will keep popping up as you work through this is what I call “The Contaminators.” These are the tasks or commitments that fill your schedule but aren’t really necessary. They eat up your time and your family’s time, keeping you unnecessarily busy. 


These could be extra committees or volunteer obligations, your child’s fifth extracurricular activity, or even your physical clutter of toys, gear, books, etc… They take your time and energy where they certainly don’t have to.


Questions you can ask yourself about commitments to see if they can stay or go:

Do I really enjoy this?

What value is it bringing to me or my family?

Does this line up with my centered vision for my life?


Questions you can ask yourself physical clutter:

When was the last time this item got used?

Do I have more than one of these?

Does it have all of its parts or is it broken?

Is this necessary OR does it bring joy into my life? (It’s definitely okay to keep things that aren’t particularly important or necessary but simply bring a smile to your face.)


Have you listened to our
podcast episode with Allie Casazza from earlier this month? Run, don’t walk to go download it. It’s SO good. We chat minimalism for moms and WHY it’s so important as well as how you can actually pull it off while still keep your house feeling warm and homey. 


Check out these other resources for streamlining your home:

List of services

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About the Episode: There’s so much parenting advice out there, and most of it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the internet wants you to think. (Seed oils? We have bigger fish to fry.) In this solo episode, Dr. Whitney gets back to basics and shares the six evidence-based parenting principles she focuses on as a pediatrician, the ones she dug into with a leading child development researcher. She also shares how these play out in real life as a mom of two neurodivergent kids, because guidance only helps if it actually fits your family. Key takeaways: Be sensitive and responsive. Simple practices like mirroring your child’s emotions and “serve and return” interactions build a loving, trusting foundation. Dr. Whitney shares how a Halloween decorating session turned into a deep conversation about religion once she slowed down and got curious. Meet kids where they are, especially at their worst. Drawing on Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child , Dr. Whitney explains that soothing a meltdown isn’t giving in. It’s letting your child know they’re not alone in a big feeling. Model self-regulation, and repair when you lose it. Self-regulation predicts academic success better than IQ. The goal isn’t staying calm all the time, it’s understanding why you got dysregulated, coming back to baseline, and offering yourself some self-compassion. Set limits for your kids and yourself. Every child’s needs are different (screen time affects Dr. Whitney’s two daughters very differently), but all kids need limits, and so do parents. Taking time for yourself models something healthy. Aim for authoritative, not permissive. High expectations paired with warmth and grace is the sweet spot. “Gentle parenting” can blur into permissiveness, which research shows is as harmful as authoritarian parenting. Protect unstructured time. Kids need boredom and free play to become self-directed. For ADHD and autistic kids, Dr. Whitney recommends offering a few options and letting kids choose. Support internal motivation. Using a “mirrors facing outward” image from her own therapist, Dr. Whitney explains why we want kids to trust their own instincts rather than constantly look outward for approval. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Books Raising Body-Confident Kids If you've ever caught yourself saying something to your kid about their body that sounded exactly like what your mother said to you, this book is for you. Raising Body-Confident Kids is a research-backed, judgment-free guide for parents who want to break the cycle of diet culture and body shame without swinging into toxic positivity or giving up all structure around food and movement. It answers the real questions parents are actually asking about Ozempic, about picky eaters, about what to say when your kid is being bullied for their body, and about social media influences. This is a practical, values-based game plan you can actually use, even if your own relationship with your body is still a work in progress. My One-of-a-Kind Body My One-of-a-Kind Body gives kids the language and understanding they need to care for their bodies with respect without fear, shame, or appearance-based messaging. Through inclusive illustrations and evidence-based health education, the book teaches body literacy, boundaries, and self-trust in a way kids can actually grasp. 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books
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