The other day, I was chaperoning my daughter’s field trip to the strawberry fields. I don’t choose to go on every field trip opportunity, but when I do, I really love getting to spend time with her and see her in a different environment than I usually do. 

Halfway through, I got a text from a co-worker: Hey, I know you’re on your vacation day with your daughter’s field trip, but I was wondering if you could come in this afternoon to see a patient who got scheduled erroneously. It would be a big help. Thanks!

I knew I wasn’t going to leave the field trip and head into the office for a routine appointment. That was not going to happen.

BUT. As I started to type out my response, something caught my attention.

I started writing: So sorry! The field trip lasts till 3 so I won’t have time to come in. Ugh–sorry again!

Did you catch it?

I was apologizing for the fact that I was out with my daughter on a prearranged vacation day. I was apologizing for not coming in on my time off. Essentially, I was apologizing for being a mom.

Delete delete delete.

I think we need to stop saying sorry so much.

Don’t get me wrong. When you’re genuinely in the wrong, you need to say so. But apologizing for living your life? I’m over it.

Here’s what I think we need to do instead. Two words: thank you.

What if instead of saying, “Sorry I’m a few minutes late, my kids took forever to get out the door,” you said, “Thank you for your patience.”

When someone catches a typo in your presentation, instead of, “Oh! Sorry about that,” try, “Nice catch! Thanks for looking out for me!”

When you’ve been talking with your friend about some issues you’re wrestling through, instead of, “Sorry I’ve been droning on forever”, you can say, “Thank you for listening to me.”

When we say sorry for things that are simply out of our control or for things that are because we simply exist, we’re constantly belittling ourselves. We’re saying we don’t matter as much as others. That we can’t take up space.

I’m no longer apologizing for being a mom. “Sorry, I won’t be able to join that committee. I have to pick up my daughter from school during the meetings,” becomes, “Thanks for the opportunity, but it doesn’t fit in my schedule.”

And that erroneously scheduled patient request? They got a “Thanks for asking, but I’m not able to come in today.”

Still a mom. Still a doctor. Just giving the things that deserve my yeses my FULL yes.