I never really understood morning people until the pandemic. I mean, I’ve had to be a morning person — the whole world is geared toward morning people thanks to 8 a.m. workdays — and I’ve had to be a no-sleep person (hello, residency!). But I never really got the allure of those early morning hours until they became the one hopeful part of my day.
Think about it. In the morning, the air is a little fresher. The sun is just beginning to filter through the clouds. And there’s the tacit suggestion that maybe today is the day when your kids won’t miss their online class, when you’ll be able to finish at least one video conference without someone interrupting, and when you’ll be able to focus on one thing at a time.
Hope, as they say, springs eternal.
ON OUR MINDS
Here at Modern Mommy Doc, we talk a lot about self-care, because as modern parents we’re often pulled in many directions. But 2020 challenged every commitment, including ones to self-care, in dramatic ways. And, if we’re honest, we didn’t always win.
The thing is anxiety stepped out of the shadows this year even for those of us who don’t normally experience a lot of it (and especially for those who are prone to it). We are anxious about our family’s health. We are anxious about our children’s mental well-being. We are anxious about our own mental well-being! We are anxious about how justice is experienced in our society. We are anxious about the state of the world and the state of the economy.
Add to all this the sensory overload of juggling work (and working from home), (remote) school, shifting mandates, changing recommendations, and vaccine protocols and availability, and you have a perfect storm of anxiety-inducing factors. We are all working double-time trying to make work life and home life a simultaneous reality. And that leads to
burnout
and anxiety…because it’s not really possible.
ANXIETY + BURNOUT = BFFS
The thing about anxiety is that it can be experienced a number of ways, but it generally falls into one of two camps: you either have situational anxiety or an anxiety disorder. And stress and burnout accelerate both.
So no matter which kind of anxiety you experience, chances are you could use a little boost to your self-care routine AND a more mindful approach to managing your anxiety overall.
Here’s how to get on a healthier path to both:
Tune In:
Notice when you start to have shallower breaths, distracted thinking, queasiness, and muscle tightness, all of which are symptoms of stress and anxiety. It’s so easy to override these physical indicators, which only makes the anxious feelings worse.
Take Breaks:
Even kids get recess during the day. Make sure you build in little pockets of R&R every day, whether that’s spending an extra five minutes in the shower, taking an online exercise class, or Netflix-ing and chilling while the dishes go unwashed.
Take Mental Breaks:
Give yourself time to zone out. Whether you meditate or just focus on your breath for a minute or two, your brain will thank you for the reboot.
Work Joy Back Into Your Life:
Everything is fine, as they say, in moderation. So balance out some of that anxiety with whatever brings you joy, whether that’s fresh flowers on your kitchen table, time in the backyard blowing bubbles with your kids, a bike ride around the neighborhood, or just a whole lot of cake.
Reach Out:
Other people can help. If you experience moderate anxiety, talking to a friend can lighten the load. And if you have more serious anxiety, consider engaging a professional therapist. With everything happening in the world, there’s no reason to suffer more than you already are. There’s real help available for people with anxiety disorders.
In the end, I realize I may never achieve a day of seamless calls and classes, of parenting beautifully while preparing a perfect dinner and spending the night cuddling with my husband. But I CAN take ownership of how I feel. And, for now at least, that means being mindful about creating balance, finding joy each day and, yes, relishing the promise of those early mornings.
I know first-hand that working mom life is hard, but I also know it doesn’t have to be impossible.
Trust me. The best way to get unstuck isn’t to work harder. It’s to use a framework that gets real results, no matter what area you need to tackle first.