About Our Guest:

Whitney Casares, MD, MPH, FAAP, is a practicing board-certified pediatrician, author, speaker, and full-time working mom. Dr. Whitney is a Stanford University-trained private practice physician whose expertise spans the public health, direct patient care, and media worlds. She holds a Master of Public Health in Maternal and Child Health from The University of California, Berkeley, and a Journalism degree from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. She is also CEO and Founder of Modern Mommy Doc.

Dr. Whitney advocates for the success of career-driven caregivers in all facets of their lives, guiding them toward increased focus, happiness, and effectiveness despite the systemic challenges and inherent biases that threaten to undermine them. She speaks nationally about her Centered Life Blueprint, which teaches working caregivers how to pay attention to what matters most amid pressure, at multibillion-dollar corporations like Adidas and Nike, and at executive-level conferences. She is a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and medical consultant for large-scale organizations, including Good Housekeeping magazine, Gerber, and L’Oreal (CeraVe). Her work has been featured in Forbes, Thrive Global, and TODAY Parenting. She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

Dr. Whitney practices medicine in Portland, Oregon, where she and her husband raise their two young daughters.

About the Episode:

Parenting is a journey filled with countless decisions, especially when it comes to encouraging our kids to try new activities and experiences. For those of us with neurodivergent children, these decisions can be even more complex. In this episode, Dr. Whitney shares her personal experiences and challenges in helping her own child to try new activities, and offers detailed insights and actionable advice for parents facing similar challenges.

Episode Takeaways:

• Recognize Initial Interest: Pay attention to your child's innate interests. When you are looking to stretch their ability to try new skills or experiences, you’ll often have more success if the activity centers around something they already love. Likewise, if your child has an activity or subject they’re already willing to do (for example, soccer), encourage them to try a “sister” activity (like lacrosse) that’s really similar. Hint: as a pediatrician, this is also how I encourage parents to help their kids try new foods.

• Assess for True Overwhelm: If your child is showing signs of severe overwhelm around a new activity, you may have to retry another time when they’re better-rested or more willing to be adventurous, or you may have to consider a less intense version altogether. Unsure? Give it a minute. Let your child calm down with some deep breathing or distraction for a few minutes if they’re amped up before deciding if you’ll bail on the new camp/food/experience you have planned, then revisit your options. That way your child will be less likely to feel cornered into trying something they’re really not into and you won’t feel so stressed, either.

• Start Small: Introduce new activities in small, manageable steps. For example, if your child is interested in theater, start with short, at-home performances before enrolling them in a class. Many class studios and programs offer trial sessions or, if you call ahead, may be willing to let you and your child observe once or twice. Starting small makes starting something new less overwhelming for your child, and less frustrating as a parent if it doesn’t work out.  

• Create a Safe Space: We can’t sugar coat every experience for our kids but, when possible, look for environments that feel safe and supportive when introducing your child to new activities. This can help reduce anxiety and build confidence.

• Bring a Friend: Starting a new art class? Sending your child to camp for the first time? Think about asking a friend to join them. Having peer support may help your kiddo feel less like the “new kid” and more like they already belong.

• Set Boundaries That Take into Account Your Child’s Unique Needs: Even if your child commits to a new activity ahead of time, they’ll often have more and more anxiety as the first session comes around. To find the balance between pushing your child too hard and respecting their mental health needs, set clear boundaries ahead of time about how you’ll deal with those real emotions. That might look like establishing that they’ll attend at least one class, or setting goals (with rewards) for participating for various lengths of time. Establishing clear boundaries that prioritize your child's well-being can help create a sense of security and predictability. Plus, if you do end up needing to make some compromises with your child in the heat of the moment, you’ll have already discussed the trade-offs and benefits.

• Communicate Openly: Have open and honest conversations with your child about their feelings and concerns. This can help you understand their perspective and make informed decisions.

• Establish Consistency and Routine When You’re NOT Trying Something New: Consistency and routine play a vital role in parenting, especially for neurodivergent children. They can help create a sense of stability and predictability, which is important for ALL kids, but is particularly beneficial for neurodivergent children. When you’re consistent most of the time, it gives you more leeway to make exceptions that accommodate your child’s unique needs and preferences without creating habits that hurt them. Use visual schedules to help your child understand and anticipate daily activities. This can reduce anxiety and improve their ability to cope with changes. Prepare your child for transitions between activities by providing advance notice and using visual or verbal cues.

• Be Mindful of Your Own Emotions and Reactions: When you’re aware of your own feelings and understand how your needs drive your feelings, you’re better able to respond effectively to your child's needs. Prioritize self-care to ensure you have the emotional and physical energy to support your child. Don't hesitate to seek support from professionals, such as pediatricians or therapists, who can provide guidance and resources tailored to your child's needs.
  

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