Ding. A friend posts a vacation-envy-inducing family photo on Instagram.
Ding. A Facebook update that someone’s daughter got into Yale.
Ding. An Atlantic article on the secret to children’s happiness.
Ding. A text seeing if you can make it to book club tonight.
Ding. A note from your office manager asking for baby shower gift ideas for your coworker.
Ding. A TikTok notification that your child just posted . . . during school hours. 😬
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Another notification. Another distraction. Sound familiar? We live in a culture where our attention is constantly pulled in a million different directions. From social media updates to work emails to family obligations, it seems like there's always something vying for our attention. And the more we try to keep up, the more overwhelmed and scattered we feel.
Nobel Laureate Herbert A. Simon once said, "A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention."
How true is that? We have access to more information than ever before, but our attention spans are suffering as a result. Every ding, ping, and buzz pulls us further away from the present moment, making it harder to focus on what truly matters – our families, our work, and ourselves.
The Burden of Attention
As working moms, we often bear the brunt of this attention overload. We're expected to juggle a million different things at once – from work deadlines to school pickups to household chores. While also being reminded to stay fit, but not too thin. To put time and thought into your appearance, but not that kind that draws negative attention. And to work like you’re not a parent, while parenting like you’re not a full-time employee. It's no wonder we feel like we're constantly spinning our wheels, never able to catch up or focus on ANYTHING.
Breaking Free from the Distraction Cycle
So, how do we break free from this cycle of perpetual distraction? How do we reclaim our attention and focus on what truly matters? It starts with awareness. Recognize when you're being pulled in too many directions. When there’s too many things vying for your attention, pulling you like Stretch Armstrong. Only then can you take practical steps to fix it and live a life aligned with your Centered Vision (I’ll talk more about that in a minute.)
When your priorities are really clear, you’re waaaay more likely to be firm about what gets a say for your attention. You can set boundaries around your time and energy, because you don't have to be afraid any longer to say no to things that don't align with your priorities. When your priorities are clear, you get to be the one in control.
When you read that list, it seems like I might be telling you that we can “do it all!” Barf. I’d never do that. Who actually wants to do it all? That sounds exhausting. But when you’re living according to your priorities in your Centered Life, the rest falls into place. You’ve dropped the things that don’t matter. You’ve made room for those that do. You’ve challenged yourself to do the best in all the aspects of your life, but fully embraced that that looks differently for every person in every season.
Finding Balance
Finding balance in the attention economy is all about setting boundaries and prioritizing what truly matters. Take a step back and evaluate where you're spending your time and energy. Are you constantly checking your phone or scrolling through social media? Are you saying yes to every request that comes your way, even if it means sacrificing your own well-being? It's time to take back control of your attention and focus on what truly matters most to you.
The Importance of Self-Care
Another way to really get those attention grabbers in check and to make sure you’re following the priorities you WANT to have, is to ruthlessly include self-care in your routine. Take time for yourself each day to recharge and reset. It doesn’t have to be a whole production! Go for a walk, practice mindfulness, or simply take a few deep breaths–find what works for you and make it a priority.
Earlier I talked about living according to your Centered Vision. And we talk a lot about that here at Modern Mommy Doc. But living out your Centered Life is one of the absolutely clearest ways to deal with the attention economy. Centered Women prioritize their vision, set personal and professional boundaries, make time for their kids, practice self-compassion, and minimize the impact of distractions.
A More Centered, Less Distracted Approach
You know I’m a huge supporter of girl power and women breaking down barriers and adding their voices into conversations that they’ve always been told didn’t have space for them. But I think one of the downfalls of this mindset is that “we can anything!” quickly turns into “we can do everything!” And then the next thing you know you’re overcommitted, under-supported, and plain worn out.
When we can get really clear on what we actually care about, it makes it so much easier to ignore the
ding, ding, ding of everyone and everything thinking they need our eyeballs right this second. When we’re living out our
Centered Vision, those distractions get quieted to a dull hum. We know what we want and that’s the life we’re going after.
