About Our Guest:

Lori Sugarman-Li believes deeply in the power of families and is a passionate voice in the cultural shift aiming to articulate the value and visibility of unpaid work. Her career as a Communications Strategist, combined with a decade devoted to full-time care of her family, community, and children's charities worldwide, served as the inspirational backdrop for her professional relaunch as a Coach, Speaker, and Author. She is dedicated to fostering meaningful conversations within families, encouraging them to contemplate how they care for one another and their shared space. Lori, her husband, and two sons are Canadian-born and live steps from Lake Michigan in Chicago. Her most recent book is Our Home: The Love, Work, and Heart of Family,

About the Episode:

Dr. Whitney talks with Lori-Sugarman-Li, author of Our Home: The Love, Work, and Heart of Family, about helping our kids understand the value of contributing to the mental load of home care—and getting them to actually do all those chores on their chore lists.

Episode Takeaways:

• Lori had a 15 year career in marketing strategy, but when her kids were born, she hit pause on that and focused on what she could do while she was still at home with her little ones. When she was denied a disability claim because they said there was no “loss” since she didn’t make any income, it opened her eyes to the undervaluing of unpaid work. She wanted to make a change, but didn’t feel like she could do it at the highest level of governmental policy change, so she created a business that allowed her to talk to kids, so that they could make change in homes.

• It will take an average of 92 years for us to see societal change in this area of equal work in the home. And because women are the drivers of the movement, it becomes one more thing that women have to add to our list to accomplish. So the best way to start is in your home and to invite children into this conversation. This builds resilience in kids by allowing teamwork and ownership of tasks.

• Practical ways you can get your kids to help at home:

• Change the energy around the tasks. When we call them chores, we are already starting an attitude of menial, tedious tasks. Instead, we can focus on the fact that these are really works of gratitude for all the things we have. When we show them that we hate chores, they’ll hate chores.

• Change the attitude from “because I said so” to “let me show you how and do this together.” It’s a huge opportunity for education and connection. When we teach that we have to do the things we have to do in order to do the things we want to do, this then puts work around the house in the category of things that we don’t want to do. Invite kids into the jobs and show them the expectations of what their day will look like BEFORE it’s time to do the tasks.

• Give your kids context of why you’re doing the things. It will help them buy-in, so that they actually understand how it all affects them and their family. Then that sense of pride can really come in for them taking ownership in their tasks.

• Decide as a family what tasks are valuable to you. What is important to you and what makes the most sense for your family? And then match the kids with tasks that make the most sense with who they are, what they’re good at, or with the way they’re wired.

• Lori’s book is called Our Home: The Love, Work, and Heart of Family and is written to kids about the power of families, how we care for one another and the space that we share. The book helps kids:

• Remember the small things, like pancakes in the kitchen or family movie night, that make our homes so special. 

• See that those types of things don’t just magically happen–there’s a lot of work that goes into making those happen and sheds some illumination on the scope of work that allows all of that to go on.

• Understand that they’re already doing a lot to make their home special and brings up the question if they could do more.

• Feel empowered with the idea that they can be amazing contributors to your family and the amazing space you share.

• Ways to connect with Lori:
• Instagram: @ourhomeourpride
• Website: ourhomeourpride.com

More Blogs on this Topic:

• Why you’re overwhelmed at home
• All I want for Christmas if for you to do more around the house
• Why working moms are exhausted all the time
  
  

More Podcast Episodes on this Topic:

• Do you have the tools you need to make equity happen in your household?
• You can’t just share the mental load with your partner; you really do need a village
• How to expand the ownership of responsibilities in your home